Page 21 of How to Win the Girl

I stop swiping long enough to re-read the biographies and blurbs of the dudes I matched with, wondering and waiting to see who messages me first, racking my brain for a good opening line.

The last thing I want to open with is “Hey!” or “Hi!” or *wave emoji* Worst conversation starters ever.

My phone pings with a new notification:Drew has sent you a new message.

No, he did not.

Drew C:Hey there. You’re the same girl from the Mass Comm class, yeah?

I bite down on my bottom lip, debating. He doesn’t sound like an asshole, but I’ve seen firsthand what he’s like. No pleasant hello is going to convince me otherwise.

Still.

My nose goes up.

I scroll through his photos, frowning the entire time.

Him laughing in a plaid shirt. Him throwing a football—big deal. Him in a pair of swim trunks, dripping wet, standing on a pier at the lake.

Gag me.

Of course he would post a shirtless photo of himself. What an ego on this guy! Unbelievable…

I snort.

A thought suddenly occurs to me.What is a guy like him doing on a dating app?

Surely, he has girls beating down his door. Why would he need to use an app to find one?

I look at his bio, which I hadn’t looked at.

DREW, 21—.04 miles away

BIO Chem major. Likes long walks on the football field, hanging with my bros, comedies, movies, and burgers. Looking for my partner in crime. Fun Fact: I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue.

6’3” because apparently height matters.

I cannot roll my eyes back into my head far enough for my liking.

This guy is an idiot!

Drew C:Hey there.

Daisy:Yes, I’m the girl from your Mass Comm class, and NEWS FLASH, I am still not amused by you. I swiped on you BY ACCIDENT.

Drew C:Then why did you bother messaging me back?

Daisy:To let you know it was an ACCIDENT.

Drew C:You could have just deleted me.

Well, obviously. But for some reason, I want to have the last word with this guy so he knows there is at least one girl on this planet not falling at his feet.

We are not all fazed by his body, hair, or social status.

Daisy:Oh trust me, I plan on deleting you.

Drew C:But you had to come have the last word about it?

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