Page 49 of How to Lose at Love

“Me? Why would you say that?”

“Um, the fact that you’re sitting in my apartment after I asked you to stop following me is a clear indication that you take advantage of situations so they’re in your favor. You could just keep showing up at my job like a normal person or sitting on top of me in a class full of empty desks.”

I clamp my mouth shut for a moment. Then, “Was that sarcasm?”

“Wasn’t sure you picked up on that.” She continues chomping on the apple.

“Thanks, I’m not a complete idiot.”

She’s giving meI’m not so sure about thatvibes, but at least she doesn’t say the words out loud. I’d be insulted otherwise.

Butthurt, if you will.

“Can I ask you something?” Ryann asks.

“Yup.”

“Not to sound like a brat, but…what would I be getting out of this? Why shouldIhelpyou?”

Er.

Good question—wish I had an answer.

“Nothing, I guess.”

For a second, Ryann says nothing, only looks at me from across the small kitchen. Then…

She busts out laughing.

Laughs until she’s hunched over, giggle fits, the whole thing. The kind of laugh where she kind of sounds like she’s wheezing.

I wonder what she could possibly find so damn funny.

“I’m sorry.” She inhales, waving a hand in my direction. “That just struck me as so…”Laugh. “Damn…”Laugh.“Funny.”

“Which part?”

“The part where you admit I get nothing out of it.” She’s still waving her hand around, the other clutching the apple like a baseball, wiping a tear from her eye. “I mean, at least you’re honest.”

“It’s one of my virtues.”

“Is it?” She can barely say it without wheezing.

“Sure.”

It takes Ryann a few minutes to come back down to earth, the giggle fits subsiding, the tears of laughter fading.

“I already said I can’t pay you—my agent said it violates like, so many rules.”

“Plus, I’m not an escort, so…”

“I don’t know how I’d make it worth your time,” I admit. “I mean, besides the fact that you’d be hanging out with me? And everyone wants to hang out with me.”

“Because you’re so much fun?”

Fun? Eh, no.

Popular, yes.

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