Page 103 of How to Lose at Love

“Apartment 106.”

I remember. I walk us to her door, barely breathing hard despite having a grown woman in my arms.

“Jesus.” Ryann exhales. “You did that like it was no big deal.”

Please. I can bench-press hundreds of pounds.

I wait for a key to materialize. When it doesn’t, I stare down at her damp face. Raise my brows expectantly.

“Can you please put me down? My legs work fine.”

I put her down.

Not because I want to, but because she told me to.

Ryann digs in the fanny pack I’m still holding, holding up her key when she finds it, victorious.

“Ha!”

And just like that she’s inside, turning to face me, taking the things from my arms, both of us still soaking.

I shiver. Try to stuff my hands in my pockets but fail; my pants are waterlogged, the pockets impossible to penetrate.

Ryann sighs. “I suppose you could come in if you wanted to.”

She doesn’t have to ask me twice.

twenty-three

ryann

“Sometimes dating a mature guy is stressful. They apologize right away…and then what are you supposed to do with your anger?”

– Dr. Laura Winters

Great.

I’ve invited the beast into my apartment yet again, his entire form making my space feel twenty times smaller than it actually is.

“Do you have anything I can change into?”

Is he being serious right now? “Um, no.”

“Do you have a robe?”

“Yes, I have two.” I hesitate. “But they’re pink.”

“So?”

Shrugging, I point toward the little laundry room off the kitchen. “One is hanging on a hook behind that door. I’m going to go peel myself out of these wet clothes if I can and check to see if my ass is bruised.”

“I want to see it if it is,” he says, sounding solemn. “For medical purposes, of course.”

“Of course.” I glance at him over my shoulder, walking toward my bedroom. “Feel free to, you know—use the bathroom and change or whatever.”

I feel so awkward about this even though he’s been in my apartment before. But this time, it’s post make-out session and post half-nude truth or dare and post ‘he almost went down on me.’ More intimate.

More tense.

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