Page 68 of How to Lose at Love

It will be my problem, not yours.

I will my body not to shiver at his words, shifting my focus back to the television.

“How long do you think I should stay up here before I leave?”

It’s getting hot and stifling in here, more so now that we have future plans that include more fake flirting and pretense and a possible run-in with my ex…not to mention girls like the ones downstairs. Judgy, grasping girls.

“Reckon it doesn’t matter since I gotta drive you home anyway.”

Mmhmm. Okay.

We both go quiet.

And then…

“So, speaking of Diego…why didn’t the two of you have sex? What’s the deal?”

I prop myself against the headboard and set a pillow on my lap.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but…I have no idea what the answer is to that. I don’t think he found me attractive.”

Dallas snorts. “Bullshit.”

My arms flap up. “I’m not joking. I don’t think he was into me.”

“Well, if you want my opinion, I don’t think Diego is into women in general, but that’s just a theory. So don’t take it personal.”

Did Dallas Colter just tell me my ex-boyfriend is gay?I mull this new information over and over in my brain, adding and deleting details like a puzzle making it all fit. Red flags and signs I missed but now see very clearly.

It would certainly make sense.

Dallas shifts on the chair. “Shit. Did I piss you off again?”

“No.” He didn’t piss me off. He’s given me something to think about. “I’m processing.”

This he understands, head bobbing up and down. “’Kay.”

The room is filled with silence both comfortable and uncomfortable; I cannot decide which I’m feeling. Comfortable because neither of us feels the need to say anything more…and uncomfortable because I’m on his bed and he’s a giant and now that I’ve touched and smelled him, I’m more aware of him than ever before.

I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing or if there’s anything to be done about it.

fifteen

dallas

“We won’t know it’s a bad idea until we try it.”

– Drew Colter

Why didI agree to any of this?

Dumb idea.

Stupid to ask Ryann to pretend to be dating me, stupid to invite her to this party. Why didn’t I listen to my gut and tell my agent I have enough on my plate and don’t need to add a fake relationship to it?

I texted my brother Duke about this mess, but he hasn’t gotten back to me yet. I know he’s on the road right now, but it would sure be nice to get his insight; of the four of us Colters, he’s the most stable.

His girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher, for fuck’s sake. How much more stable can a person possibly be?

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