Page 21 of How to Lose at Love

“Aren’t you a regular knight in shining armor,” he says sarcastically. “So what else has you acting all bitchy?”

“Eh. I didn’t love the call I just had with Eli.”

“What was it about?”

“He thinks I need to…” My shoulders move up and down in a shrug. “Not clean up my image, but make myself…

“Less of an asshole?”

“No. More—”

“Macho?”

“Would youpleasestop interrupting me?”

“Oh, my bad. I thought we were playing a guessing game.”

Honestly…

“He wants me to make myself more approachable, I guess? Those aren’t the words he used, but he said teams are looking for players who are family-friendly.”

This is the funniest shit my brother’s ever heard, and he falls to his back in a laughing fit, chuckling up at the ceiling, hands clenching his chest.

“Has he evenmetyou?”

Of course my agent has met me—not in person, but these days, isn’t a video chat the same thing?

“Don’t be a dick.”

“Or what? I’ll hurt youronefeeling?”

“Ha-ha.”

Drake finally settles down and leans back onto my pillows. “So what exactly is it he wants you to do?”

“I told you. He wants me to be more family-friendly.”

“Uh, you’re twenty-one. How are you supposed to be more family-friendly?”

Good question. “He told me to meet a respectable girl and try to be seen with her in public.”

“So like, not the girls living next door?” He laughs.

“Hell no.” In the summertime, they show up in their swimsuits and pretend they’re not sure how to work the garden hose. Next thing I know, they’ll be popping over in bikinis and UGG boots pretending they don’t know how to adjust the thermostat.

“Well, who then?”

“This was my point. I don’t know anyone.” None of the girls I’m currently acquainted with are wifey material. The other girls? Could get attached if I’m not careful.

No. I need someone who doesn’t like me.

“You could start hanging out at the library. You know, that place with books in it.”

“Fuck. You.” I laugh, throwing a pen at him.

“What about that Ryann Winters chick? She’s single now,” Drake suggests helpfully with a maniacal laugh.

“Did I not just tell you she hates my guts?”

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