Page 173 of How to Lose at Love

“Dang, your lips are cold.” He moves back. “We better get you inside.”

forty-four

dallas

“She reminds me of my pinky toe: sooner or later I’m going to bang her on a table.”

– Drake Colter

All the wayback to my place, my mind goes reeling at a million miles per hour—same way it usually does—but this is different because, for once, things are working in my favor.

We’re mostly silent on the ride; I can’t tell if it’s due to tension or contentment or relief, but I expect I’ll soon be finding out.

My brothers are both home when we arrive, looking up at us from the couch, plates of food in front of them on the coffee table. From the front door, I can see giant sandwiches, chips, and potato salad piled high.

A carton of chocolate milk sits between them, two glasses of ice ready to go.

My stomach growls, but there’s no time for that.

Talk now, eat later.

Drake and Drew raise their brows, each giving Ryann a wave from the sofa. “Hey.”

“Hi, guys.”

“Good to see ya,” Drew tells her.

She pauses at the bottom of the stairs, hand on the railing, one foot on the bottom step. “Thanks.”

When we’re in my bedroom with the door closed, I sit on the edge of the bed while she stands, unsure about what I’m going to say or how I’m going to say it. I mean, she’s obviously seen the footage on TV or she wouldn’t be here; that much is clear.

Ryann parts her lips, leaning against my desk. “I have no idea what to say right now, but…I saw the halftime report.” She pauses. “It was on at work.”

I wait for her to go on.

“I wasn’t sure what to do, you know? We haven’t spoken in days, and I was so hurt. The thing I realized while I was standing there in the cold today was that not once did I put myself in your shoes. I didn’t think about how you felt with that defamatory picture splashed all over the news.”

It’s my turn to say, “The person who was most upset about it was my mother.”

For once the media hit a nerve.

“She just assumed I’m a piece of shit.” She didn’t say those words, but the way she was carrying on must have triggered feelings about my father, who couldn’t keep it in his pants.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. It wasn’t your fault. It was Tiff—” I pause, thinking. “Correction: it wasn’t even Tiffany’s fault. Yeah, she played a part in it, but it’s the media and its money machine that churns out rumors to cash in.”

“Still…I was mad at you, and you hadn’t done anything wrong.”

Maybe I didn’t cheat on her, but there are things I could have changed so the situation didn’t happen to begin with, like banning the neighbor girls from the get-go, knowing their presence isn’t good for my brothers or for my budding relationship with Ryann.

I knew they were vipers, and I was right.

On the other hand, snakes usually find their way into places they’re not wanted; they’re cunning and quiet, and that’s the way Tiffany operates.

Lesson learned.

“You didn’t know I hadn’t done anything wrong.” I clear my throat. “It’s an adjustment getting used to…everyone watching and caring about what you do when they’re complete strangers.”

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