Page 107 of How to Lose at Love

“Dallas!” Ryann scolds for the umpteenth time, shocked but delighted. I can see in her eyes that she’s amused but won’t admit it because it’s not politically correct to heckle small children doing their best.

“What?” I shrug. “No one can hear me.”

“I can hear you.”

I roll my eyes at her, finishing the beef and broccoli on my plate before going to the lo mein.

It hits the spot.

And who knew I’d be so entertained by tiny chefs?

Once we’re both done eating, I stand. Take Ryann’s plate and walk our trash to the kitchen, tidying up before I go back, bringing her another water because I’m a considerate asshole.

“Can I ask you a question?”

She glances over at me. “Sure.”

“Why did you agree to help me?”

“Honestly?”

I snort. “No. I want you to lie.”

It’s sarcastic, but she laughs anyway. “I agreed to help you because I thought I could help you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I told you this, but my parents are marriage counselors. So, it makes sense that I’ve picked up a thing or two along the way, listening to them work and whatever.”

“Makes sense. But what does that have to do with me?”

“Er…well, I just figured you needed a little coaching on how to treat people.”

Excuse me? What now? “Again, what do you mean?”

“I mean—and don’t take this the wrong way—but I just figured, because you were callous enough to dump me for a friend, you were callous in other ways, too, and probably could use some tips on how to treat women.”

I stare.

And stare.

Is she fucking joking? “How is it you think I treat women?”

I carefully select my words, genuinely wanting to know if her opinion of me is the same as the day we met—or even the same as the night we first fooled around because we were hiding away from the rest of the house.

I thought we were over this.

Didn’t I explain to her that I don’t need anyone in my life right now? That now isn’t the time? I’m not not dating because I’m a dick to people; I’m not dating because…

…I didn’t think I had the energy.

Because I like to sit at home after games and eat food and watch mindless TV and not have to entertain people. Because I like to watch old movies at the theater and avoid crowds. Because I want something real, with someone down to earth, who is honest. Because I don’t have the time to filter out the bullshit.

And the gold diggers.

And the cleat chasers.

And—

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