Page 75 of Wild Card

Instead, he pulls out his phone and cues up a voice memo app. He hands it to me, and I hit play with shaking hands.

Gio stares up at the ceiling, the tendons in his neck pulsing with anger as we listen. When the clip finishes, I hand him his phone, and he slides it in his pocket.

I’m too exhausted to cry again, really, but I can’t stop the hot tears from washing down my face. He wanted me to die. My own father. He was happy to trade my life for business opportunities. What a thing to know about someone who should have wanted to protect me, keep me safe.

But instead he wanted me to leave behind a beautiful corpse. It's so abhorrent I don’t know how to face it.

“If you want me to kill him I will,” Gio whispers. “Catriona, I’d go to jail for the rest of my life and be satisfied if it made you happy.” He pulls me closer, kissing my head. “I mean it. You say the word and it’s over for him.”

I lean into his touch.

“No,” I sniff, grabbing a tissue and wiping my eyes. I’ll wait to see what Callan has in store for him. It’ll be slower, but all the more satisfying for it. “Thank you for caring so much about me,” I manage, trying to stop the flow of my tears. “I know what happened to your parents. Your grandmother told me. I know what it means for you to be willing to do time for me.”

“I’d give you anything.” He’s tense still. “Whatever you wanted, my sweet fairy princess.” His big hand strokes up and down my arm. I love how it feels when he touches me. “Jesus, I wish we’d met in a less complicated way. You’re so special. So strong, so resilient, so beautiful. But you deserve to be cared for too.”

It sounds like he’s telling me goodbye. And maybe it’s for the best. Even if it’s not what either of us wants.

It just hurts so much. Pain like with my appendix, but with no degraded organ to remove. No way to cut it out.

“You’re wonderful too, Gio,” I say. “It’s nice to have met an honorable man.”

He laughs bitterly.

“Not so honorable. I should’ve done better. I thought I was balancing everyone’s needs, keeping people safe as best I could. But I was blind to my uncle’s duplicity.”

I pick up his heavy hand in mine and stroke the back of his knuckles with my thumb.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see the best in the people you love.”

I had still held out hope for my father until today.

“There is if it hurts other people.”

His hand is warm and strong. I press it to my cheek.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs. “You’ve been through so much. I don’t want to take advantage. You deserve the absolute best. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life, but I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

He is a man of honor. And I don’t know what to say. I want him too. But what if he’s right? What if I’m just scared or confused?

We could both use some time to think.

But I don’t want him to go, either.

“Could you just hold me for a little while longer, please?” I ask, cuddling against him.

“God, yes.”

He holds me until I fall asleep.

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