Page 43 of I Did Before I Do

“Already called a cab.” Benny gave me a sympathetic look. “We got it. Go do what you gotta do.”

I’d have to buy him and Bradley coffee tomorrow as a thank you.

Chapter Seventeen

Sydney

I was already in tears before I parked at my duplex.

I was so stupid.

Kenzie had warned me that Ryker was trouble. That he went through women fast, that he was a player who would never settle down.

And I hadn’t listened. I’d decided it would just be for fun, and we’d fool around and then it would fizzle out, and then…

He’d sent me flowers. I’d told myself he was into me. I’d let myself think I could be into him, too.

I parked and sat in my car for a moment, tears rolling down my cheeks.

I had seen his car while I was driving home, and I thought I’d surprise him, and it had ended up like this.

He was hooking up with other women behind my back.

But I couldn’t even think of it like that. We weren’t dating or anything. We hadn’t even really had sex. I’d just let myself get a stupid crush on a guy who would never want to be in a serious relationship.

“God, Sydney,” I said, shaking my head. “God, you’re so stupid, you’re so stupid!”

I balled my hands into fists, slamming them on the steering wheel. The horn beeped, but I didn’t care, even when my neighbor turned on their porch light.

“Stupid,” I mumbled again, leaning forward and resting my head on the steering wheel.

I sniffled and grabbed my purse, finally getting out of my car and going inside. I stood in the entry of my apartment and took a look around. Was this how my life was going to be? A lonely virgin living in a half-furnished apartment? I didn’t even own a real bed, just a mattress on the floor.

I just needed to adopt about five cats, and I’d seal my own fate.

I dropped my purse on the table and went into the kitchen, where I poured a glass of wine. While it breathed, I changed into pajamas and pulled my hair up.

I could at least unpack some of my things, since I clearly wasn’t doing anything else with my life.

Good men didn’t exist. All men cared about was getting their dicks wet. It didn’t matter if they hurt somebody in the process—they just wanted to fuck as many girls, or guys, as possible.

I’d wanted Ryker to be different. Even with Kenzie telling me he wasn’t, I’d wanted it so bad.

He was just as awful as Mark.

But I still wanted him.

God, what was wrong with me?

I went to my purse, grabbing my phone. I pulled it out and sighed.

No texts.

I opened our thread anyway, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard. What could I say?

Hey, that was fucked up, especially after you sent me flowers.

Do you have any idea how stupid I feel?

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