Page 17 of I Did Before I Do

“So, Syd. What happened? With Mark?”

Oh, God. I reached for my beer and took a long sip. “I need something stronger to talk about that.”

“I’ll get shots.” Lora smiled, scooting out of the booth and hurrying to the bar.

Kenzie put an arm around my shoulders. “It’s okay. I mean, we don’t have to talk about it if you really don’t want to. I just thought it might be good for you to get it out, vent to people who might understand. Lora’s ex cheated on her, so she can maybe help a little?”

I sighed. It was true, but that didn’t mean I wanted to talk about it. It just hurt too much.

But maybe Kenzie had a point. Maybe if I talked about it, I could let go of some of the shit I felt all the time.

When Lora came back, I knocked back a shot and sighed.

“Okay. Okay. This is… it’s bad.”

Kenzie gave my shoulder a squeeze. She pushed her shot toward me. I drank that one, too.

I took a deep breath. “So, I got home from visiting you here, and things seemed normal.” I shrugged. “We still talked about the wedding a lot, and how excited we were. All the good stuff.”

My voice hitched. It had felt good, but then…

“So, yeah, a few weeks later, I came home early from work. I felt sick and they told me to go home, right? So, I come in and… and I hear… noises.”

Kenzie and Lora looked at each other, then back at me. Lora held one hand out across the table, and I took it. Kenzie put her arm back around my shoulders.

I took Lora’s hand, continuing, “It was Mark, and he was… in bed. With a guy. And they were, well. It’s pretty safe to say that Mark wasn’t waiting for marriage.”

“Wait—what?” Kenzie’s voice was sharp.

Lora’s grip on my hand tightened.

I nodded. “Yeah. Mark was having sex with another man.”

“He—but—he’s not gay?” Kenzie looked at me in shock, shaking her head.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know. He said it was an experiment. But why would he be okay fucking a guy and not me? I—I just…”

Lora squeezed my hand again. “It’s okay. Do you want to tell us the rest?”

No.

Yes.

I sighed and kept going. “I kicked him out. Immediately. Told him to pack his shit and get out. So, he went to a hotel. I stayed up all night. I couldn’t stay with him, you know? Not after that.”

They both nodded. I took a sip of my beer.

“I started packing that night. I took everything that was mine out of the apartment. If it fit in my car, I packed it. And I called movers to come get the rest. I called my job the next morning and told them I had to go. They understood, though. They actually put me in touch with Hills & Bridges.” That was the one good thing to come from this. I’d gotten hired fast. “Mark came home that afternoon and I was ready to go. I gave him back his ring and told him we were done.”

For a moment, all three of us were silent.

“Has he, like, tried to get a hold of you?” Kenzie asked.

“Yeah. He’s called a few times, but I never pick up. I mean, what is there to say?” I shook my head. “He was going around behind my back. And he wouldn’t sleep with me because I guess he’s really gay and didn’t want to admit it.”

I’d been used so he could hide from whatever made him think he couldn’t be out.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair for him to have cheated on me.

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