Page 14 of Blue Collar Hotties

I grab two bags of groceries and head inside.

* * *

What would Luis say if he saw me like this? Heart raw and bleeding for his best friend? I can picture my big brother’s faceso clearly, his sticky-up hair and outraged expression, his loud voice that used to echo across the lake.

“Riley!”He’d probably yell, loud enough that all the local campgrounds heard our business. He never did have volume control.“Don’t go batting your eyes at a soldier! I’ve told you a million times, we’re all fucked up.”

He used to say that. Made me promise I’d never fall for a man in uniform; told me he didn’t want that for me. All that worrying and waiting, left back home alone.

But Cade is out now with a fistful of medals for his trouble, and there’s no way he’s going back into service. No way.

So would Luis still be horrified?

Probably. My big brother never did like the idea of me dating, I guess ‘cause he was so much older than me. Always so overprotective.

“He wouldn’t like it.”

Cade voices my inner thoughts like I’ve been speaking out loud, not just stewing cross-legged on the deck, arguing in the privacy of my brain. We’re sitting side by side, staring out at the water, watching the red sun sink behind the treeline.

Two plates are stacked behind us, covered in pizza crumbs. And I’m full and warm and safe and calm, but my heart hurts so badly.

“You don’t know that.” I won’t pretend to misunderstand. This is too important. “We can’t know what Luis would think. We’ll never know.”

Cade grunts, but it’s a sound of disagreement. He thinks this is a done deal. That I’m forever off limits. Riley Sanchez: his best friend’s little sister, and nothing more. Never more. And I’m so tired of that, so worn thin by wanting someone who won’t take what I’m offering, that I don’t argue anymore. I prop my chin on my knees and watch ripples spread across the lake.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, angel.” Cade’s voice is pleading. “It’s never that.”

I shrug and nod.

Whatever. Does the reason matter, if he still won’t kiss me? If he still leaves me cold and lonely at night?

The sun slips away, and vivid red streaks the sky.

“Riley.” Cade sounds wrecked. “You look so fucking sad.”

I shrug again.

He groans, low and long.

And this constant heartbreak is fun and all, but for the first time since Cade got here, I’d rather spend the evening alone. Reading, maybe, or just bundled in blankets and staring at the cabin wall. Rubbing my thumbnail along the grooves in the wood.

My joints pop as I push to my feet. “Well.” My bright voice sounds all wrong. Super fake, but I can’t help it. “I think I’m gonna turn in. Goodnight.”

I should help wash up, should offer to start a fire, but I’m too brittle to be polite. Too close to shattering. And Cade watches me go with those glacial eyes, deep shadows on his face, and he doesn’t stop me.

He lets me walk away.

* * *

The double bed is crammed into a corner of the bedroom, with barely enough space to walk down one side to reach the door. It’s a nest, a bolthole, and I’m relieved to shut myself away and fall apart where no one can see.

I cry myself out. Sob into my pillow until my throat hurts and my eyes are gritty and red. Then I flop onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, watching the wood change color as the evening light fades away.

Stars come out. Glittering and sharp, like tiny jewels. I don’t bother closing the drapes.

Instead, I lie with one palm on my chest, feeling the steadythud, thud, thudof my heartbeat. Reassuring myself that I’m still here.

When the door creaks open, I figure I must be asleep. Already dreaming. And Iknowthat’s the case when Cade steps into the bedroom, his silhouette as familiar to me as my own shadow.

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