Page 10 of A Hunter for Luna

My face burned with humiliation as I walked to the bed and complied, positioning myself on the plush bedding and parting my thighs. I stared resolutely on the ornate ceiling, trying to pretend I was somewhere, anywhere else.

The midwife's weathered hands were brusque and impersonal as she inspected my most intimate area. A mortified breath escaped when she spread me open. Tears of shame and anger pricked at the corners of my eyes. I’d learned the control to not let them fall, and I blinked rapidly to clear them.

I would not be seen as weak.

After an eternity, the midwife stepped back. "This woman is intact," she said matter-of-factly to the room.

I felt more than saw Benedetto move to the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. His large hands gripped my hips, dragging me roughly up toward the pillows.

"I'll make it fast," he said tersely, already positioning himself between my legs. Hard muscle brushed my inner thighs and I tried to close them in reflex, despite knowing better.

Then he was pushing inside me, stretching and filling me. I bit my lip hard to stifle a pained cry at the burning intrusion. Benedetto didn't pause, just drove forward until he was fully seated.

I’d been beaten many times by my father. I’d survived weapons training with my mother-in-law. This intimate pain was somehow worse, though the injury was less. The discomfort bordered on agony, and I dug my nails in the sheets.

A few shallow thrusts and it was over, Benedetto pulling out and rising from the bed in one swift motion.

Without so much as a backwards glance at me or the stunned witnesses, he strode from the room, leaving me aching and empty in more ways than one. I curled onto my side, hugging my knees to my chest, grateful for the curtain of my hair hiding my face.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but still the tears came, silent and hot as they trailed over the bridge of my nose and dampened the silk bedding beneath my cheek. Never again, I thought bitterly, from this moment forward I was a wife in all ways and could not be set aside. A child in me bought a place for me and Rose.

"Rest, Luna," Vala said from somewhere behind me.

I nodded without opening my eyes, not trusting my own voice. The quiet rustle of skirts and click of the door latch told me I was finally alone. Slowly, I uncurled my aching body and sat up, wincing at the tenderness between my thighs.

Gingerly, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood, pulling the rumpled sheet around me like a cloak. I needed to cleanse myself, to wash away any evidence of my humiliation.

But as I took a tentative step toward the washbasin, I paused. Something was...missing. Frowning, I reached a hand between my legs and felt...nothing. No warm trickle down my inner thighs, no telltale wetness.

My breath caught in my throat as Vala's earlier words echoed in my mind. She had warned me of the mess, of how Benedetto's seed would fill me as he sought to quicken a child in my womb. And yet, there was no seed. No attempt at conception.

I sank back onto the edge of the bed, stunned. He did not want me, even for that. I recalled the expression on his handsome features, the way he had avoided looking at me, touching me any beyond the strictly necessary.

Repulsive, I thought numbly, that must be what he finds me. So repulsive he cannot even bear to plant his child in my body. A broken sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob, escaped my throat.

A soft knock at the door startled me and I hastily dashed the tears from my cheeks. "Come in," I said, hating the tremor in my voice.

Sofia slipped into the room. Her calm face shifted to quiet concern as she took in my red-rimmed eyes and the sheet clutched around me like a shield.

"Oh, Luna," she crossed to sit beside me on the bed. "Are you alright?"

I turned my face away, fresh tears sliding down my cheeks. "Why? Why must it be like this? So... cold and horrible..."

Sofia wrapped an arm around my shoulders, a quick comforting movement. The rare gesture helped the hurt burning in my chest.

"It’s not always so, Luna. When two people care for one another, share a bond of affection or desire...it is something beautiful. Far different from a bargain being sealed."

A shuddering sigh escaped my lips. Different. Yes, it would be different if my husband desired me, wanted me. If I were more than a repulsive duty to him.

"Rest now," Sofia said gently, guiding me to lay back against the pillows. Her fingertips, blessedly cool, stroked my forehead, the gentle touch coaxing me into relaxing.

"Sleep, child," she crooned softly. "Sleep without dreams..."

And as I surrendered to oblivion, one final thought flickered through my mind.

I would make him want me. Someday, somehow, I vowed, my husband would crave me. And thenIwould decide if I wantedhim. No matter what it took.

Then weariness dragged me down into velvet darkness.

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