Page 62 of The Vampire and the Case of the Hellacious Hag

I sighed. Doughnuts would have been better because we knew she liked those. I would be so pissed off if she killed me for bringing the wrong sweet treat. ‘Go on, give me the box and you all retreat to the vehicles.’

Thomas, Sidnee and Gunnar moved away, the latter giving me an inscrutable gaze. Connor grabbed me and kissed me with all his might. ‘Careful of the treats!’ I squeaked when he finally released my lips.

‘Fuck the treats.Stay safe Bunny. Promise me.’

‘I’ll be back,’ I promised lightly, kissing him again, and all too aware that I might be lying.

When they all were safe, I took a deep breath, clutched the pink bakery box tightly and called, ‘Matilda, Matilda, Matilda.’

I waited. Then I waited some more. I gave it five minutes, then I called again. Crickets. I waited ten more impatient minutes. I guessed we’d been wrong about this being a good place to try – the idea had been a total bust.

I was turning to leave when I heard a scratching noise behind me. I whirled around just in time to catch sight of metal claws protruding from the mud.

Fuck. There she was.

Chapter 36

I waited until Matilda was fully visible. She hadn’t blasted the mud out of the way like last time but dived through it like it was water and she was an Olympic swimmer.

She met my eyes then held up her hands in front of her like paws and started to hop like a rabbit. Everyone’s a comedian. She was mid-hop when her eyes focused on the box in my hands. As she stopped hopping and lunged for it, I hastily pushed it forward before her talons could catch my skin. She ripped off the top and started gobbling down the treats like she hadn’t eaten for a year.

I sat on a nearby rock and waited. Watching her silver teeth flash was disturbing, so I focused instead on watching the cookies and cakes disappear from the box. When she’d finished she handed me the empty box, which I thought was interesting. She knew from last time that it wasn’t good to eat and she knew that I’d dispose of it for her.

I folded it up while Matilda settled next to me on the rock, sprawling against it like it was a comfy sofa. I wasn’t sure how to start, mainly because I didn’t know how well she understood English.

My mum might have been on my shit list, but she’d always insisted that everything went better if you were polite and I agreed with her. So, open with politeness. ‘How are you, Matilda?’

She looked at me blankly, either not understanding the question or the concept behind it. Had nobody ever asked her how she was before? I cleared my throat and tried again. ‘I was worried. Were you safe when the mine blew up?’

She squinted then looked at the place where the outer structure of the mine was missing. ‘Big noise,’ she nodded, her willow-like hair swaying as she moved. ‘Mountain wobble and shake!’

‘Yes. That was the explosion.’

She cocked her head. ‘Explosion bad,’ she grunted.

‘I agree. It was very bad. Many people died and others were badly hurt. And the mine was damaged.’

She nodded. We sat in silence for a moment while I cast around for a way to segue into the purpose of my visit. In the interests of brevity, I decided to go for broke. ‘Matilda,have you seen strange men in the mountain? Men not from here hanging around the mine?’

She squinted at me again as she tried to understand. I clarified, ‘We saw men with guns go into an underground tunnel that probably comes out in the mine. Do you know about them?’

Her expression darkened. ‘They mean. No bring sugar snack.’

My heart gave a loud thump. Yes, she knew about them. ‘Yes, very mean. Very bad men.’

She gave a clear harrumph. ‘They no let Matilda go to secret place. Not their say where Matilda go!’

The surprise clearly showed on my face, because she lifted one of her large hands and touched one of my eyebrows with a metal claw. I froze. ‘Hair over eyes, jump like rabbit.’ She laughed. ‘You two rabbit!’

‘They’re called eyebrows,’ I explained and wiggled them for her. She laughed harder. She didn’t have eyebrows, so facial hair must have looked alien to her, much like her metal claws did to me.

With another wheeze she got herself under control, though she still looked amused. At least she wasn’t trying to rip my throat out, which was a vast improvement on my worst-case scenario. When she’d finally calmed down, I asked ‘Matilda, why can’t you go to the secret place?’

She glowered. ‘Bad magic. No like.Burns.’

Bad magic? I frowned. What could burn a creature made out of pure earth magic? Did the MIB have a ward around their installation? ‘How does it burn you?’ I asked.

‘Bad magic! You no listen.’

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