Page 21 of The Brotherhood

“Without actually doing it,” Big G finished quietly.

Pain coiled in her guts through an endless, suffocating pause. She nodded for many seconds then quipped, “Yes.”

“Would you like my help?”

The shock of his words squeezed her lungs as she blinked. “…What?”

“Would you like my help,” Big G repeated, his tone as calm as always. “In finding a way to give Ethan what he needs?”

She glanced slowly around at the monitors, her heartbeat thrumming in her ears. “I don’t… I mean… I don’t think I can.”

Only a beat of silence before he asked, “Why?”

Her throat tightened as she contemplated the answer. “Because I don’t want to hurt him,” she strained out.

“Then you’re already losing him.”

Cat froze at those low, velvety words.

AL.

She wasn’t sure which direction to look now. Unlike Big G, when AL spoke, it always felt like he never stayed still. Always moving. Always hiding. Planning, sneaking, calculating. He was everywhere and nowhere.

“Come on, Cat,” AL went on softly, luring. “Do you really think being fulfilled by another woman than the one he loves makes him… happy?”

Her jaw tightened along with her chest. “It’s better than nothing,” she could only barely whisper.

He gave a soft, knowing chuckle. “For how long?”

She went back to heaving. Trapped.

“You already know the answer, Cat,” Big G said.

She spun back toward the console, anger and frustration twisting deep in her gut at his sad tone.

“Ethan will not stay satisfied with that,” AL assured, his voice curling around her ear. “If you don’t give him more, he’ll take it elsewhere.”

Her stomach lurched. It was already happening. Ethan stayed out later, worked himself raw, avoided her like the plague. He wasn’t leaving her, not physically—but in every other way, yes. He was. She squeezed her eyes shut, breaths trembling as she whispered, “I don’t know how.” Her voice cracked with her heart as she fought the agony. “I have no clue,” she forced between clenched teeth. “I hate this. I hate hurting him.”

Stupid damn silence.

“So let us train you.”

Her eyes snapped open as she spun to the other side of the room where AL’s voice still lingered in the air, challenging. “…What?”

“You heard me, sweetheart,” he nearly cooed, sending her pulse racing as she turned back toward Big G.

“Is he serious?”

The absence of a denial from Big G had her panting in terror at the idea.

“I would never force you,” Big G said calmly, implying he was still in charge. “But the reality remains: Ethan will always seek this. If you wish to truly be one with him, you must understand him.”

Her stomach twisted because she knew. She knew he was right. But this….

“C’mon, Cat,” AL pressed softly. “I know you want to help him.”

She clenched her fists as her heart pounded. Then it slowly dawned on her, pressing down on her ribcage, her throat, her chest. “…You... were waiting for this?”

---