Page 9 of Amaze

My heart almost exploded out of my chest every time that boy called me dad. Him saying he loved me was icing on the cake. I still couldn’t believe I had a fucking son. Not only that, but he was a good ass kid. Wesley had done an amazing job of raising him, especially under the circumstances.

She could have let Galvin ruin him and turn him into the monster that he was. Wesley’s sweet and kind spirit had helped mold our son into a kind and respectful young man. I couldn’t be prouder.

The waitress came over and took our orders. Just like before, I ordered the meat lovers omelet and home fries. Wes went with the southwest chicken omelet and fresh fruit. We both ordered coffee made the same way, one cream and three sugars.

As we waited for the food, I smiled over at my gorgeous wife, who seemed to be lost in thought. I knew my revelation about killing her dad was likely somewhere in the back of her mind. She was a natural overthinker. So there was no telling what was swirling through that beautiful mind of hers.

Since it didn’t take that long to cook eggs, our food came out in no time at all. As the waitress placed the plates on the table, Wes reached out to hold my hand. I grabbed my baby’s hand and closed my eyes. I stroked the back of her hand with the pad of my thumb as she said a quick prayer. It felt so good to touch her after thinking I would never even lay my eyes on her again.As often as I could, I would touch her, just to make sure she was real.

“Dear Lord, I want to thank you for reuniting me with Amaze. While we may never fully understand why we were ripped apart, we appreciate the journey that led us back to each other. We pray that You continue to lead and guide us as we navigate our new normal and raising an amazing son in Your image. I pray that You bless our food and the capable hands that have prepared it. We also pray that You continue to grant us grace and mercy as we continue our walk through life. Amen.”

“Amen,” I muttered as I lifted my eyes back to her.

She dug into her food, so I did the same. I had been starving since I drove over to see Wesley. I was grateful that she was eating, especially after I dropped the information of my plan to her. She had the right to lose her appetite after hearing about her dad’s impending doom. We ate in relative silence for a few minutes before she spoke up again.

“I used to think God was punishing me for defying my father’s wishes and choosing you over him,” she said, catching me off guard. “Since you’ve come back into my life, I don’t know what to believe anymore. What I know for sure is that I love you more than anything in the world, even myself some days. No one in my life has ever supported and protected me the way you do,” she noted.

“I’m always gon’ do that. That’s my job, Wes.”

“Even before it was your so-called job, you took care of me. Remember when I finally told you about my eating disorder? I was so scared that you would think I was crazy. Instead, you stayed up all night doing research and finding ways to support me. You didn’t make it like it was a joke or tell me to just suck it up and eat like my dad did. You genuinely cared and wanted to find a way to help me. You were the one who showed me what it felt like to be loved. When you were gone, I thought I wouldnever experience that feeling again. It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that you’re still here. I practically went through all five stages of grief all over again, if that makes sense.”

“I can definitely relate to feeling robbed and being angry that I missed all of those years with you, just because two men were on a power trip. If I’m being honest, I’m still so fuckingangry.”

“Me too. For a while, I went through cycles of anger and depression because I had missed so much time with you. I went through hell because I didn’t think I had a choice.”

“I never wanted to love again. It didn’t matter how great a woman was. I felt like I was dishonoring your memory by moving on. Now I’m glad that I didn’t start a new family. You’re my family, Wes. You and Anthony are the most important things in the world to me. I still love you so much, baby. I’m never going to stop trying to show you just how important you are to me.”

“I understand why you have to do what you have to do. I don’t think either of us will be able to rest as long as Zachariah is in the picture.”

Relief.

That was the only way to describe the way I was feeling. I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t have still killed Zach without Wesley’s approval, but her saying that she understood was like a thousand-pound weight being lifted from my shoulders.

The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt my wife. Although I knew the loss of her father wouldn’t be easy, knowing that she understood the necessity of his demise was a relief. I needed her on board with me.

Getting rid of Zach was more for her and Anthony than it was for me to get revenge. Getting back at him for trying to kill me and destroying my life was nowhere near as important as keeping my wife and son safe. Killing him wasn’t just retaliation. It was necessary.

“I appreciate you for seeing my side. I’m not doing it for payback. I have to protect you and Anthony. I don’t take my duty as your protector lightly.”

“I know, baby. You protect me in your way, and I will protect you in mine.”

I smiled, although I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant. “What is your way?”

“I want you to go to church with us in the morning. I’ve been praying over you and for you, but now I need you to come to church with me.”

“Wes.” I sighed.

“It won’t be that bad, Maze. When is the last time you went to church?”

“I feel like you know the answer to that.”

“So, the last time you went to church was with me?” she asked.

“Only because I missed your funeral.” I shrugged.

“Wow!” She stretched her eyes as big as they would go.

“What?” I asked with a shrug.

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