Fear that news of his son being gay would get out prevented our dad from making that decision. That didn’t mean that Amar didn’t make his life harder out of sheer unwarranted hate and disgust. It was yet another reason that I harbored such deep-seated hatred for my father. Even in his death, I found it hard to forgive him for his multitude of trespasses. Taking over the club was a start.
“What’s up, Maze?” AJ gave me a head nod as I passed the table where he was shooting pool with another member.
“Come holler at me before the meeting,” I said, motioning with my head for him to follow me.
I needed a quick debriefing on how things were going. Without missing a beat, he dropped his pool stick and fell in step with me. We didn’t speak until we were behind the closed doors of the office. I sat on the edge of the desk and turned to my brother to see what kind of update he had for me. I needed my plan to work in order for the guys to learn to trust me. There was a lot riding on this phase of my plan for transition.
“They all passed!” he declared with a huge grin.
“All six of them?” I asked, just to verify if his news was as good as it sounded.
“Yep. They are going to make their announcement in the meeting. Then we have six more that are going to sign up for the next session. Maze, man, you know if this goes according to plan, we can go legit by the end of the year.”
“I’m planning to go legit even sooner than that.”
To gain the guys’ trust, I had offered to put up my own money to send six of them to school to get their commercial truck driving license. AJ and I had already mapped out a plan to purchase four trucks to send the guys on the road in groups of two. I wanted to show them how to earn some real money the right way.
I used some of my connections at the university to get some agricultural contracts. The department head had even hooked me up with some contacts of people in the fishing trade in Florida and along the Georgia coast. I had some lucrative deals on the table. I just had to get my guys up and running in a timely manner.
Galvin’s conniving ass had a good idea when he decided to use truck drivers. He was just going about it the wrong way. Iwanted to show the guys a better way. Better didn’t mean easier, which was the reason for the constant push back from long-standing members.
“I hear you, big bro. I’m glad you came back.” AJ’s mushy smile caused me to shake my head.
“I don’t know how I feel about it yet. You know there is always a method to my madness.”
“Don’t I know it.” He shook his head. “How is she doing anyway?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been keeping my distance and spending as much time as I can with Anthony while trying to avoid her. That shit is hard, bro. It’s taking my mind some time to catch up with what my heart already knows. If that makes sense.”
“It’s hard accepting that she’s still here.” He sympathized.
“Precisely.”
“I hope things work out for you, bro. You deserve it.”
“I’m trying to make things right for her first. I don’t want anything standing in the way when I bring her back into my life. Hell, I don’t even know if she still wants me at this point. I’m not the man I used to be, bro.”
“Mourning over your wife changed you. While you struggled to find your way, I feel like you have made the best out of a fucked-up situation. If you ask me, you’re a better man than you used to be.”
“That doesn’t change the facts, bro,” I noted.
“But the facts changed, Maze. She’s not dead.”
“You’re right. Everything changed. Now what?”
“Go get her. What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid that I’m too hardened to love her right. I’m afraid that I’ll fuck things up and still end up alone. I’m afraid that she doesn’t love me anymore, not like she used to.”
“The only thing you can do is try. You have gone through more pain and heartache than the average man, but you’restill standing. That counts for something, Maze. The fact that you’re fighting for her behind the scenes counts for something. She knows how much you love her. All you have to do is keep showing her.”
“I hear everything you’re saying. I swear I do. None of that will matter if Zach gets to her before I can rectify the situation, bro. You know that coldhearted bastard isn’t going to take his defeat lying down. I’m sure word of Galvin’s death has gotten back to him down in hell or wherever he’s residing right now. How long do you think it will be before he connects the dots back to me?”
“We don’t even know if he knows you’re alive yet.”
“We don’t need to know that. I don’t give a damn about him coming for me. I’m trying to protect my family. If he gets word that me and Wesley have reconnected, he’s going to go ballistic.”
“That’s why you have to get the drop on him.”