Page 69 of Shadows of the Crown

I barely make it to my bed before my eyes close—huffing because I know he’ll tease me for sleeping in such a filthy state.

Chapter Thirty

Ariella

Isit cross-legged on my bed—one I still need to change the sheets on. My nose scrunches at the memory of waking up surrounded by crumbled dirt, blood, sweat, and whatever the fuck else managed to latch onto my skin.

My chin rests heavily on closed fists, the pain from my knuckles the only thing keeping me here. In front of my father’s journal.

Do I truly want to crack open this part of my past? To discover who my father actually was, and blur the too little memories I have of him?

“Stop being fucking pathetic—it’s just some old writing.” My voice is strange in the stillness of the room.

The leather creaks as I pry it open, breathing in deeply through my nose and out through my mouth. My shoulders ease with every page I turn, a hint of a smile on my lips. My father talked about my mother as if she were the only light in his life…he loved her just as much as I remember.

So many entries pass through my eyes—how beautiful my mother looked when she was pregnant with me. The day I was born, and how my father had dropped to his knees and bawledon my mother’s legs after holding me for the first time. He said I was the single most beautiful thing he’s ever seen…I clear my throat, blinking the burn away before turning the page.

I freeze as a deep pressure in my chest drops through my stomach. This one is a mere month before my mother took her life. I wasn’t expecting the entries to go this far…

Something clogs my throat. I turn the page.

“What thefuck…” I barely breathe, hastily turning the page only for my breathing to increase rapidly.

The nearly empty page trembles as I flip it.

I begin frantically flipping through the pages, catching pieces of what life looked like for my father after his wife killed herself.

“What does that mean?” I choke, the tightening in my throat almost unbearable.

She killed herself…for me…for an Accord? What balance has shifted? What the fuck was I supposed to learn that I didn’t because that bastard of a king—

I slap the journal shut and toss it across the bed.

I cannot think about any of this right now…it’s too much.

I push from the bed, stumbling over my boots as I yank them over my feet and release the wards at my door. I don’t have the mind to re-ward them before stalking toward the opposite side of the castle.

I swear to the Angel, if he isn’t in his room…

I turn down a wide hallway and heat floods my veins as my eyes find a woman hanging from Caspian’s arm, looking up at him with stars in her eyes. She’s the complete opposite of me, and exactly who Caspian should want in hislife. She has long, luscious, brunette hair—every strand curled to perfection. Her round, soft face compliments her lithe body, and the admittedly pretty lavender gown she’s wearing hugs her small frame. She is the image of a perfect future queen.

Something I will never be—wouldn’twantto be.

I do not wear dresses or curl my hair. I’m not sweet or innocent…I murder people for a living, and I love it. I have a dark past, and clearly an even darker future with whatever the fuck is coming.

I know Caspian and I could not work long-term, but I have zero qualms about fucking with any woman who thinks she does have a future with him.

My gaze hardens as I stop directly in front of the pair. The woman’s eyes meet mine, hers widening as her neck flushes.

“Ariella…is there something I can help you with?” Caspian questions hesitantly, but I ignore him and continue studying the beauty in front of me.

It’s possible she doesn’t deserve my wrath…but she’s touching what isn’t hers.

“And who might you be?” I ask her sweetly, tilting my head.

“This is Je—” Caspian starts, but promptly shuts his mouth when I pin him with a heavy glare before my eyes slide back to the woman.

She peeks at the prince, obviously unsure of what to do in this situation. “Don’t look at him.” Her flustered stare snaps back to me, redness creeping up her pretty neck. “Look at me.”

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