Page 24 of XO

“I’ll check it out. Don’t you worry about it. He was a good friend to you today.”

I take a moment to acknowledge those unfamiliar words.He was a good friend.This could easily have been a situation Jacob could have used to his advantage, but instead, he put himself out there and protected me the whole way.

“Dad wasn’t very nice to him.”

My mother bristles if only for a fleeting moment. “Your father is just super protective of you. You’re the apple of his eye.”

“But it’s Jacob. He’s lived across the street from us for years.”

“That doesn’t mean anything to a father protecting his daughter.”

I nod, although I feel like I owe an apology to Jacob on my father’s behalf. “Speaking of who, I don’t know if Dad’s told you but he’s having a hard time at work at the moment.”

This time, it’s not a bristle, but more a hardening of the eyes. “He told you there’s issues at work?”

I nod, unsure if I should have said anything at all. “I guess he could really use a friend.”

Mom squeezes my hand, but I feel her pulling away. “I’ll bring it up with him tonight, I promise. I’m leaving tomorrow on another work trip, but I’ll keep checking in on you, okay?”

I nod again, wishing she’d reconsider work and stay home with a family who needs her. Leaning forward, she kisses me on the forehead and leaves, closing the door behind her. A part of me is grateful we now know what’s been crippling me, but at the same time, the idea that this condition can affect my life choices, even as much if I choose to have kids, weighs heavily on my mind.

Kicking off the blanket, I cross the room to my window and look across the street. Jacob’s house sits exactly opposite to mine, our bedrooms face each other’s. I still remember the first day he moved in. It was the start of our four-year-long war. Mom had dragged me over to ‘meet and greet’ the new neighbors and handed me a freshly baked apple pie my father had requested for dessert, but was instead used to win over the new family. As soon as I saw the boy my own age helping his father unload boxes from the U-Haul trailer, I did an about-turn only to be grappled back into place.

Freshman Summer:The beginning of the end.

“I raised you with better manners, Rosie,” my mother chided.

At that age, I didn’t know how to tell her that meeting new people upset my stomach. I didn’t know how to explain the anxiety that wanted to cripple me. So, I stuck to her side like a newborn lamb, looking back at the house and wishing my dad was with me. He understood me. My mother didn’t.

“Well, hello, new neighbors,” she sang out in a tone I’d never heard her use before. Perhaps she only reserved it for ‘special’ occasions like this. Both the father and his son turned on our approach, their faces taking a moment to reflect any form of emotion. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

While the father didn’t hide his appreciation for my mother, his eyes twice traveling the length of her well-maintained body, the boy’s eyes narrowed at mine. Taking a step back, a firm hand on my shoulder put me back in place.

“My name is Amanda, and this is my daughter, Rosie. We live directly across the street.”

The man smiled, but I didn’t like it. Only my father should smile at my mother like that. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Amanda. Do you go by the name of Mandy?”

His familiarity made my skin crawl but seemed to have the opposite effect on my mother, her cheeks reddening.

“You can call me anything you like,” she replied with a nauseating giggle.Lies. I stared up at her wondering why she’d say such a thing. She hated being called Mandy. Something to do with her drunk father yelling it out at all hours of the night whenever he wanted another beer.

“Mandy it is, then. My name’s Jim, and this is my son, Jacob.” When Jacob nods, he receives a sharp elbow from his father.

“Hi,” he begrudgingly says with typical teenage male gruffness.

My mother turns her sugar-laden voice to the boy. “Jacob, are you attending Beachmont?”

Before he can reply, Jim cuts in, “He is. He’s going to be a freshman.”

“Oh, so is Rosie. With any luck, they’ll take classes together. It’s a great school, I’m sure you’ll be happy there.”

“He’s only there for one reason, and that’s football. He’s gotta prove his worth to get on the team, but I have no doubt by the time he’s a senior, he’ll be the Panther’s captain and hopefully, be recruited to college football.”

“Wow!” my mother says with an impressed laugh. “You got it all sorted. Well, if you need Rosie to show you around campus, I’m sure she’ll be happy to. Right, Rosie?”

When I don’t reply, I receive a similar elbow jab. “Yes, sure,” I agree, but have zero intention in following through.

“Hello,” came a gentle voice from the front door. A woman, I guess to be Jacob’s mom, walks down the garden path, neatly dressed and in perfect shape. I can see where Jacob gets his looks. He shares nothing similar with his father, but his mother has beautiful thick, dark hair and tanned skin. They also share envious lashes.

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