Page 89 of XO

The woman is staring at her husband, and there’s not a tear to be shed. She doesn’t touch his cheek. She doesn’t leave one last kiss on his lips.

There’s simply nothing.

She could be looking at a complete stranger.

Cold-hearted bitch.

She and Rosie may look alike, but they couldn’t be more different.

With the police and paramedics talking, Amanda Reign approaches, grief the last thing she’s experiencing.

“You can’t tell Rosie about this,” she asserts, folding her arms tightly across her chest.

Her attitude completely sobers me up. “You want to keep this from her?”

“That it’s a suicide. Yes.”

Rage rears its ugly head again. “Because you’re worried about getting caught?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw you and my dad fucking in his office.” I wait and allow the words to sink in. Her eyes wide, jaw set defiantly.

“It’s not what you think,” she whispers because I bet she didn’t divulge that information to the police.

“I didn’tthinkit, I saw it. Plain as day. I suppose you want to keep that from her also?”

“Jacob, please. Please just understand that—”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. I just cut your husband down from the garage slider door, and here you are telling me to lie to Rosie about what happened.”

The woman is relentless. “She can’t ever know her father took his own life, Jacob. It’ll break her. Rosie’s a strong girl, but something like this could ruin her whole life. She’s only just finishing school with her whole future ahead of her. Mr. Lynch died of a stroke… that’s what we need to stick to.”

“I don’t want any part of ‘we.’”

“Then you’re choosing to hurt her.”

I step away, incredulous over her behavior. “You’re disgusting,” I say more to myself. “You just burn everything you touch, exactly the same as my father. You’re perfect for each other.”

“Cut that out,” she warns through narrowed eyes.

“Cut what out? You were supposed to be our friends. My mother loves you like a sister, and you fucked her husband without any remorse. Your husband hangs himself, and you can’t even shed a tear for the man who loved and adored you.”

“Don’t pretend like you know everything. John was a—”

“He was a good man, and you didn’t deserve him.”

She swallows hard, still unable to shed a single tear.

“You’re right. I didn’t deserve him. Just like Rosie doesn’t need to have her life ruined. You’re choosing to rob her of a life she deserves. A life of happiness. Having her father’s death hanging over her at such a young age is devastating. Knowing he committed suicide is something of nightmares. Your choice, Jacob. If you love Rosie, you’ll do what’s best for her.”

~

Rosie

NOW

My trembling hand clasps my mouth as a guttural sob erupts. “No. No. No. What are you saying? That didn’t happen, Jacob. It couldn’t have happened. You’re lying to me. You’re lying!” Jacob catches me as I collapse, pulling me into his arms. We sink to the ground, and he holds me tight, allowing me to wail against his chest, my decimated heart beyond repair. The immense physical pain is unbearable. I mourn for my beautiful father who must have fallen down such a dark hole, feeling completely alone in the world, who’d been struggling for months, and no one recognized the crippling signs. Not only did he feel alone, he died alone, and that very thought is what destroys me as I choke on my cries. I mourn because he took his own life without anyone to tell him they loved him. Without me to tell him that I loved him more than anything else in the world. Without me taking his hand and pulling him back into the light where he was safe and cherished. Because he was loved. So, so, dearly. I mourn for myself because I lost my truest best friend. The one who’d move the earth for me like it was no big deal. My dad. My beautiful, sweet dad.

---