Page 83 of XO

“As in you left the whole military?”

“I did, as of two weeks ago.”

“Holy shit!”

He nods. “Yep.”

“Now what?”

“I’ve got money, investments, enough to get me through the rest of my life without having bullets fired at my head.”

The last sentence sends a tremor through my heart. “I had no idea, Jacob.”

“You could never have known any of that. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving or where I was going.”

“I spoke to your dad. Three days after you left, and you never came home.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“He seemed pretty pissed. But what’s new, I guess. He was always an asshole.”

“What did he say?”

I choose not to mention the vile and derogatory things he’d said about Jacob and his mom. “He was really mad, but he gave me no answers.” I glance to the twinkling lights above, finding courage for my next question. When I return my gaze to him, he’s still watching, lost in the sight of me. “Why did you leave and not say goodbye?”

Jacob flinches for a second before whatever he was just feeling, turns to confusion. “Even after all this time, she still hasn’t told you?”

“Who?”

“Your mother.”

Now it’s my turn to be confused. “What was she supposed to tell me?”

Jacob laughs incredulously, rubbing his jaw in annoyance and anger. “It all makes sense now.”

“What does?”

“Why you loathe the sight of me. It all makes perfect sense.”

“What does she have to do with any of this? If I remember correctly, she was the only one there for me when my life fell apart.”

There’s a poignant look in his eyes. “It’s because of her your world fell apart, Rosie.”

“I don’t understand.” I’m feeling somewhat incredulous on my mother’s behalf, which to be honest, doesn’t happen too often. “What the hell am I missing? Let’s just backtrack a bit. Did I somehow misinterpret you leaving me stranded for hours out of town? Have I somehow misconstrued you high-tailing it out of our relationship the day after you got what you wanted on the rooftop? As if taking my virginity and running wasn’t bad enough, you abandoned me the same day my father died of a stroke, and then high-tailed it again out of town to all of a sudden show up ten years later. So, tell me… what doesn’t make sense to you, Jacob? And how is any of that my mother’s fault?”

“The fact that your mother, after a decade, still hasn’t told you the truth!”

Mr. Lynch’s voice taunts from his dark corner.“Because it seems all those closest to you, including Jacob, have been lying to your face.”

“So, if you know, tell me.”

“I often wondered what she would say to justify it. Would she tell you the truth or would she add another lie upon lie? And then I wondered, if I ever saw you again, would I have the balls to tell you myself?”

I shiver. “Jacob, you’re scaring me. Please just tell me what the hell you’re talking about.”

“This isn’t something you want to hear, Rosie. Trust me on that. I’ve shouldered this knowledge for ten years, and I can promise you, it hasn’t gotten any easier.”

“If you cared at all for me, then or now, you will tell me.”

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