Page 49 of Cruel Devotion

Every time she mentioned her plans to graduate and move out of Marsten—which was my eventual plan too—my chest felt too tight.

I wasn’t sure if the rest of the semester would be enough with her, which was ironic because she’d been here at college with me all this time.

Wasted time.

It was cruel to be this devoted to her now and only have so much time to look forward to with her.

“No. I’m good.” I was far from good, but a hit of weed wasn’t going to help.

Taking Haley to this dance that she really didn’t care about made me feel like a fraud, and that didn’t help assuage my guilt at my real feelings that had formed for her.

But what the fuck else can I do?I swallowed hard, hating that I might have screwed up by not telling her.

When I was at her house and going down on her, I loved every second of pleasuring her and calling her mine. That was when I wondered how she’d react if I told her the whole thing. That Preston dared me. That I’d agreed with the dare and she was a pawn in all of it.

She’d hate me if I admitted that. We’d go right back to the way it was a few weeks ago. When that line was still intact between us and she saw me as nothing but an asshole, a bully. Someone she’d hate. As recently as a week ago, when I kissed her that first time in the library, she'd tried to cling to that hatred.

Haley would never forgive me if I admitted the dare now. If I came clean, it would end all that we shared. I was too invested, in too far, to be able to just tell her and know she would forgive me and go along with it.

My only hope was that I could still pull this off. I could bring her. That was a given, although the wording I’d used to get her to agree to come still made me feel like an ass. But it wasn’t like Preston wouldknowif I fucked her there. I could encourage her toward that auxiliary room where the “tradition” was. That side room where people took turns to get a quickie in. It was some stupid ass college lore on campus, a really pointless “honor” to get laid in that room during the winter dance. Maybe there was some big scandal decades ago that started the “tradition”, but it was nothing other than a dumb story now.

Preston wasn’t going to watch us, to know whether I fucked Haley there. Just getting Haley near or in that room to make out would take long enough to throw him off.

He’d never know I didn’t fulfil the dare completely.

That way, I wouldn’t ruin what I had with Haley for however long we’d be together in Marsten.

And that way, he wouldn’t have any grounds to tell the truth about that car accident and force me to pay back my scholarship.

It’ll work out.

“Are you sure?” Finn asked.

I hadn’t realized I’d said that out loud. “Yeah. It’ll be fine.”

Since Haley had a car, or she could use her aunt’s car, she picked me up and drove us to the venue. I couldn’t get a good look of her bundled up in a coat, but I leaned over and kissed her, excited to see her in this dress.

“Why’s it such a big deal that we go?” she asked as she drove.

Dammit. Don’t ask that. Please. Anything but that.

“It’s like you said. Why not?”

She shrugged, parking and getting out of the minivan with me. The dance wasn’t overly crowded, but with the many people mingling and dancing, there were countless people from the college here.

We checked in our coats, and afterward when I held her hand and led her away, I smiled. I didn’t care if we were standing in the middle of the entrance. I was taking my time to really admire her in that silver dress. Instead of baggy clothes to hide behind, she was all here, not overly exposed but revealed in a sexy, gorgeous gown I’d never forget. Silver was officially my new favorite color.

I circled my finger, wordlessly requesting a twirl, and with a shy smile as she blushed, she spun and showed off her sexy body with that shimmering fabric accentuating her curves. Her long, brown locks tumbled over her shoulders, and barely any makeup covered her silky skin. She had a natural beauty—inside and out.

“I wish I had a shawl or something.” She leaned against me as I took her hand.

“Cold?” I asked, letting go of her fingers to wrap my arm around her.

“Just… exposed.” She furrowed her brow as we neared the dance area.

“What did I tell you?” I stopped to grip her chin and encourage her to lift it. “Never hide from me.”

A small smile lifted her lips, but she still seemed so nervous and shy. I understood. I got it. She put so much effort into hiding and not attracting attention to avoid being teased or bullied. And this was a very big social event.

---