Page 14 of Cruel Devotion

My slight good mood from seeing my nephew and talking to my sister completely evaporated. The comfort of being in my aunt’s company faded. Even the reflective peace I’d felt as I admired the stillness of the night on my walk was gone.

All I felt was the same anger and loathing from this treatment that I didn’t deserve.

I fisted my hands in my pockets until I felt the sting of my nails on my skin. The bite of pain soothed me, grounded me, and I exhaled through my nose, still ignoring them as they taunted me all the way until I opened the door and went into the diner.

Inside, I asked for a carton of the ice cream, then waited for it and paid. All the while, I refused to pay those jerks any attention. They weren’t worth it. They really weren’t.

As I exited, though, they carried on, cat-calling, laughing, and teasing.

Still fisting one hand, digging my nail into my skin, I walked past them.

They’re not worth it.

There’s no point in fighting back.

In one ear and out the other.

Walking home, I breathed easier with the more distance I put between myself and the group of jerks. And as I considered how much I didn’t care to stand up for myself against them, I recalled how I wanted to with Eli earlier.

When we sat outside Professor Blume’s office, I caved to the addiction of talking back to him, even if just a little. He seemed to love to get a rise out of me, the twisted ass that he was, and it was oddly thrilling to give him a taste of his own medicine.

I could care to argue and fight back with him, whenever or however I could.

But I won’t have to deal with him at all anymore.

I swung the bag with the ice cream as I walked, letting my heart lift with that promise.

Very soon, I’d never have to deal with them.

Never again…

I furrowed my brow as I let that notion sink in.

At the idea of never seeing Eli again…

I laughed once, wryly, at the realization that I almost seemed to have mixed feelings about that.

Eli Young had always been in the background in my life. As a childhood friend, then a high school bully.

“That’s all he’d ever be.”

Because the idea of actually missing him was too insane to consider.

There wasn’t a chance in hell of his changing his opinions about me, not this close to when I’d be able to get out of town forever.

6

ELI

“Oh, fuck. What’d you do, man?” The guy in the passenger seat gawked at me, eyes wide and shock evident in the panted breaths he let out.

My heart raced as time stood still.

I crashed the fucking car.

I didn’t intend to drive it, but it shot forward when I was revving it up because this dumbass knocked into the gear stick. “Me?” My jaw dropped. “You hit the gear stick!”

“I… What…” He scrambled to open the door and get out, leaving me in the wreckage.

---