Page 74 of Cruel Devotion

“You stay away from my son once and for all!”

I didn’t reply. I didn’t shake my head or speak. Nothing. She wouldn’t listen, and if I said anything and engaged with her, it would make her shout and fight more.

“You are ruining his life. If you are selfish enough to stay with him, you will be nothing but a burden for him. Nothing but a distraction he doesn’t need.”

No.That wasn’t true. I wasn’t selfish to want him, to desire a life with him. For so many years, I ignored and avoided him, not going near him at all. Now, it was so different, and so much better.

But is it selfish?

She was getting to me, almost sounding like a mother who just wanted the best for her child. Yet, I knew that wasn’t true. If she cared about him, she wouldn’t have mistreated him for so long. She would have loved him.

“I’m not selfish?—”

“You are!” She stalked toward me, breathing so hard and bullishly. “You would trap him with a baby. He’s so young, and you would trap him with a baby and end his future?” She raised her hands, shaking them like she needed to tremble before she exploded.

“Just like your whore of a sister did. She got knocked up as a teenager and at least had the intelligence to get lost and get out of town. Even she wasn’t selfish.”

“That’s not true.” A hot tear streaked down my face. I hated that people would judge Nat like that, and I loathed that this woman could scorn me so much without even knowing a single thing about me.

But her words hit hard and deep. They festered.

Despite every thought of love I had for Eli, I couldn’t help but worry that we had been so stupid to think we could last. That against the trials of reality, we would stay together.

How could we? How could I believe that we would stand up to the challenges of life together when I was still too scared to tell him that I loved him? When I wondered and stressed over whether he felt the same for me.

Love was the foundation for starting a family, for building a real future together.

With his mother’s cruel words, I had to cringe with this outsider perspective.

What if she was right?

What if I was going to ruin Eli’s life and hold him back from a successful future with a baby on the way?

26

ELI

This isn’t right.

Haley didn’t come to her first class. Davina texted me back and said Haley wasn’t at her second class either. I checked with Finn and my friends on the football team too.

Haley hadn’t come to school today.

When I finished my quiz in my lab, I left early to check the library. Then the food court, too.

She wasn’t on campus at all, and it bothered me.

It wasn’t a sign of how clingy I was. And hell, maybe I was getting overly attached to her. That had to be common when two people were in love. I loved her and wondered when we’d have a peaceful moment to talk about that, where I could express those feelings to her and make sure that she believed me. My past of bullying her would always stand between us. I felt like I would do well to go above and beyond to show her, tell her, and demonstrate to her how profoundly she had my heart. For the rest of my life, I would make up for my stupid bullshit of treating her like an outcast.

But I wasn’t going to be able to work on that crusade today.

Not if she wasn’t here.

“Maybe she just needed a day to chill and relax,” Finn said when he found me after I looked at the library and food court.

“If she did, she’d tell me,” I argued, showing him my phone that showed multiple unread messages.

“Dude. You’re hovering.”

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