Page 63 of Cruel Devotion

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He sighed, reaching over to guide me over to sit on his lap, wanting to hug me close instead of sitting next to me. “I was looking forward to graduating and being done here. I’ve been getting sick of the college scene and all the immature shit that happens here.”

“Says the guy who got in the driver’s seat of an expensive classic car while buzzed…” I scolded lightly.

“But I didn’t?—”

“Intend to drive. I know. I know.”

“I was just looking forward to putting this behind me. I could leave town and find a job away from my parents.”

He gazed at me with so much patience and affection that I felt like I was his queen on his lap.

“Where?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Anywhere. Just so long as I never have to deal with them again.”

Nodding slowly, I leaned against him and relaxed. This wasn’t the first time we’d talked about our futures. “I know what you mean. I’ll be sad to leave Aunt Cindy when I go to move to the city to be with Nat, but there’s no way I’ll stay here.”

“Because you wouldn’t get into grad school here,” he said.

“That and I’m so sick of it all. I hate the judgment. How everyone assumes I’ll be like my mom. Or even my sister.” I explained to him that Natasha had been given a date-rape drug that night Grayson was conceived, but when she told the cops, they dismissed her, saying she was just like our mother, that it had to be her fault that she was raped.

“I’m sick of the bullying from everyone.” I hung my head.

“I’m sorry,” he said, tipping my face up and kissing me softly.

It felt like both another apology from him for ever bullying me and an apology that I'd suffered from others too. Now that he’d explained a little more, I understood why he’d acted the way he had, changing from a friend to a bully.

“What if…” I looked up at him, marveling in the intensity of his blue eyes that never failed to mesmerize me. I was still too scared to accept that he was this committed to exploring this thing we were doing. Whatever it was. “What if we got out of here together?”

He slid his hand over my thigh. “Likerightnow? A quickie before my meeting?”

I laughed lightly, kissing him back since it was kind of empty over here. PDA wasn’t something I wanted to go wild with, but it seemed private on this side of the large room. “No. Not a quickie.”

“To leave Marsten together?” he asked, smiling wider. “I’ve actually thought about that already.”

I raised my brows, unable to hide my grin. “You have?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Hell yeah. I’ve been trying to be strategic about where to move in terms of having employment, but in the city, I’d have lots of options for work.”

Hope blossomed in my chest, and I let it set in and spread through me. I couldn’t resist kissing him again, framing his face and reveling in how he always wanted to lean into my touch.

“You'd better hurry,” I told him. “It won’t look good to be late to your meeting with the dean.”

With a heavy sigh, he released me. I stood, but he hugged me at my waist to keep me in his space as he looked up at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah. Aunt Cindy is going to pick me up from the library.” She wouldn’t be able to come get me until an hour after my last class was over, and I wanted to make sure that Eli had time to handle his things without worrying about making time for me. He had a lot on his plate.

He stood, kissing me once more before we parted ways.

I grabbed my bag and slung the strap over my shoulder, wishing things didn’t have to be so hard. So difficult. We were both so close to moving on to a new future, and it wasn’t fair that life had to be this much of a challenge. After so long of wanting to fit with someone, wanting to be with someone who cared for and cherished me, I would lose him in the end. It wasn’t easy to see him suffering, but I knew there was nothing I could do.

As I looked up, I caught Preston watching me from the other side of the area with tables.

He glared, narrowing his eyes as he stayed there like a hawk in the distance.

This time, he was only watching.

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