Page 34 of Cruel Devotion

Under the soft sensation of her smooth fingertips and within the sphere of her compassion—that I didn’t deserve—I felt drawn toward her. She represented so much goodness, such genuine care and kind wishes, that I gravitated to her more and more.

I’d never realized how goddamn starving I was for attention, the kind that wasn’t because I was popular or charming or dedicated to my sport. With her focused on me like this, I wanted to bask in her goodness.

“They could even be for you,” she said wryly, “should you plan to complete Blume’s next assignment for Brit Lit.”

I peered at her, feeling like I was seeing her in a new light after all this time. I wasn’t trying to impress her, and even if I were, like I'd foolishly tried to do at the food court, she wouldn’t be swayed. Without anyone around to see whether I was the cool jock, I was justme. It was just me and her.

Which made it somehow more fun as a distraction to talk to her like this. Alone. No pretenses.

“What did he want with you after class that day?”

She shot me a look. “Stupid shit.”

“Was he trying to hit on you?”

She narrowed her eyes, scowling. “You know why he wanted to talk to me.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.”

“You and Preston accused me of cheating. Again.”

I furrowed my brow, then winced when it made my skin pull.

“Stop it. You’re making it bleed more.”

“I didn’t accuse you of cheating.”

“That time,” she deadpanned.

Fine. She had me there. I’d said some shit a couple of years ago in a class, but it wasn’t like anyone would believe my talking crap about her like that. Everyone could see she was just smart.

“All right. So you didn’t get me in trouble that time. Preston did.” Her face remained stony, showing how her opinion of that punk mirrored mine.

“And Blume didn’t try to cop a feel or?—”

She lowered her hand and frowned at me. “No. Why is that the first assumption you make?”

“Because he’s always calling you into his office. It could look like he’s got a thing for you.”

She resumed wiping my scrape. “He calls you into his office a lot too, for late papers.”

While it was bold of her to fight back and I relished the challenge, I wouldn’t be deterred from the point I was trying to make. The more I focused on her, the less I’d think about myself. “But he’s always watching you, too.”

“Then he’s a pervy freak who looks at women. I don’t know. If you and Preston and everyone else would stop making up baseless lies about me, then he wouldn’t single me out at all.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” She wasn’t getting an apology out of me. That would require my owning up to why I’d bullied her and tried to keep her at arm’s length. And it was simple—when I craved love, I acted out to be popular and well-liked, and that included casting her out because no one in Marsten cared for the Feldstone family.

“Maybe Blume thinks you’d be easy because of?—”

“My mom? My sister?” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not.”

I smile despite my annoyance. “Yeah. I can see that. You’re difficult.”

“Says the idiot who got in a fight tonight. I’d argue thatyou’remore difficult than me.”

“Is it a competition now?” I asked as she gripped my chin and paid attention to my mouth.

“No.” Feeling her press the wet tissue to the cut on my lip was more intimate. Just having her attention like this triggered me into wondering how else she could soothe that stinging skin. How else I could…

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