Page 21 of A Beautiful Crime

I smile thinly, my eyes cracking with an emotion I haven’t felt in such a long time. But before it can get the best of me I push my hair behind my ears and stand tall. “No one can protect me except myself, Giuseppe.” And that is the cruelty of this dark world that I live in. No one is here to save you. There’s no such thing as white knights riding gallantly on their steeds.

“I’m assuming your papa did not receive an answer.”

“Your assumption is correct,” I tell him monotonously. “And this article on the front page is certainly not going to do me any favors.”

“But it says you captured his attention,” he argues and I shake my head.

“And it also says that I was less than thrilled to be in his presence.”

“Surely Don Fiore must know this is just media gossip.”

I laugh humorlessly. “Luca has already told papa of the tension between us two last night. This,” I wave my hand towards the newspaper, “only seals my fate.”

His face falls. “No,” he says the word in horror. “You barely were able to move after last time.”

“And I imagine this time will be worse. We both know how sadistic Luca is.”

“No,” he says again, heartbroken. “This can not be. We must do something.”

“You can help me like you did last time, Giuseppe,” I offer. “But if you make your concern known on my behalf then you’re dead. And that is something I will not allow to happen.”

“You shouldn’t have to experience this. Your mamma-”

“Is dead,” I say flatly. “And even if she was alive she couldn’t save me from papa or Luca’s wrath.”

“If only you knew how many times that she had,” he tells me somberly.

I ignore the flare in my heart and the disappointment rising within me. I don’t need to hear how many times mamma protected me. How she tried to save me from the poison flowing in my veins because I was born in The City of Death.

If she could see me now I would be her biggest disappointment.

Therefore I will not hear how she saved me from papa.

“I think I’ll be skipping breakfast today. Once papa and Luca see the front page my punishment will be most severe. I don’t feel like upchucking my food.”

“Dio mio, Carina. How can you speak so nonchalantly about this?”

By having my humanity ripped away from me.

By being reborn in the blood of my innocence.

By accepting the darkness and living with it.

I don’t say any of that to him, though. Giuseppe somehow still sees me as the person I was before. And at times, on the worst of my days I hate to admit that I like seeing the reflection of my old self in his eyes.

“That’s it,” he finally says and I raise a brow, “I will not show the paper to your papa or fratello. Not if you have to bear punishment.”

I lay a gentle hand on his shoulders and look him steady in the eyes. “You will show the paper to papa and Luca. You will not show any concern for me and you most certainly will not try and talk them out of this. I thank you, Giuseppe, for the thought, but we both know what will happen if you do. This is my life. I failed last night and I must suffer the consequences.”

“Luca will not be easy on you, Carina.”

I remove my hand from his shoulder once I see the white flags of surrender waving in his eyes. “Is he ever?”

“You’re stronger than him, Carina. That’s why Luca is so determined to break you.”

“You can’t break what is already broken.”

“You are not broken, la mia forte bellezza,” he says fervently. “You must not talk like this.”

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