Page 106 of A Beautiful Crime

I take a step away from him, all the pent up frustration leaving my body. And as I look at him, feeling the weight of my muscles finally tire I confide in him with a vulnerability I never have before. “My world belongs to her.”

And there are times, like now, where I’ve ripped my heart for him to see, cracked the surface to show vulnerability, where I am thankful for his apathy.

Any comforting words would sound hollow.

I have come to conquer many wars but I may have to accept my deepest fear with Carina being my greatest defeat.

“You should go,” Rico advises me. “The cleaning crew will be here in less than fifteen minutes and I’d prefer them not to see you at the scene of the crime.”

“You think they’ll be horrified after everything they’ve seen?”

“I think they’ll grow suspicious of your unhinged behavior.”

“Then let them.”

Rico stares at me blankly. This is the one time where I wish I could read his expression. To know what’s going on in that logical mind of his.

He regards the body again. Studying each wound like a forensic scientist. No emotions flicker across his face nor in his eyes. His body language remains as statuesque as ever. “You’re a Don. And a Don doesn’t lose control. Least of all to men who belong to the Fiore’s.”

And I read between the lines.

If Luca was to somehow know that I have done this he would have something over me. He wouldn’t stop until he found the reason for my unhinged behavior and use it against me.

But my cards have never been close to the chest when it comes to Carina.

I've threatened him and countless others who raise their tongue against her.

But as long as Carina is against me, which is the result of my unhinged behavior, my enemies will use that to their advantage. Especially Luca. He’ll try to convince her to finish the job he and his papa have never succeeded in doing.

And I don’t want to believe it to be true but with Carina’s emotions in a wry she just might finish it.

The most bittersweet part? I wouldn’t even mind death if it was brought by her hands.

As if the man can read my thoughts Rico’s eyes bore into mine with a sharpened edge. “Go home, Constantine.”

CHAPTER 22

Carina

Loneliness.

Like an old lover or friend I thought that I had become familiar with it.

The hollowing feeling inside one’s being makes you resemble more of a carcass than human.

The thoughts in your head, even dreary and dreadful, being your only companion.

And when dusk would fall and the moon brightened the night sky with millions of stars you would sit in the dark corner of your room and contemplate the meaning of your existence.

If you were to disappear would anyone notice? If you were to make a sound would anyone hear? And if your life is so inconsequential, why are you here?

Loneliness.

I thought I had experienced the truest meaning of the word when my mamma decided to leave this earth ten years ago.

But it wasn't the loneliness I felt when she left me to end her own suffering and pain. It was grief.

I was grieving mamma.

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