Page 56 of A Love Like Venom

I can't even bring myself to look at it. Catching the slightest glimpse makes me want to vomit.

As my fingers hover over the carving it's like I can feel him digging in my skin all over again.

The coldest shiver runs down my spine as goosebumps break free across my body.

Life has knocked me down once again yet still I'm finding it within myself to get back up.

If there is one thing I have that Hollows Point or anyone for that matter can't take away from me is my strong will. I have the endurance to push through.

I have seen darkness, but I have also seen light. And it's the light, the goodness that I know is out there in the world that I'm going to hold onto.

Which is why I'm not going to allow Razor to be my downfall. He's not going to break me. And he's not going to own me. I don't care that he branded me. I don't care that he told me I'm his. Thetruth that he is too blind to see is that no matter what he does I will never be his.

I was right when I assumed that men like him only see people, especially women as objects. He wants a toy that he can play with and discard when he's finished.

I refuse to be an object.

That's exactly why I am not calling out of work tonight. Believe me, I thought about it. I thought about it long and hard. But in the end what will staying here in this trailer do for me?

No, I have to show him, all of them, that what he did means nothing.

Perhaps he expects a weaker woman. One who will bow and submit to him. That is not me.

I will never have a man force me against my will ever again.

I will die before I let that happen.

So, as I slip into my work uniform, I also put on a shield of armor.

Work has always been hell for me but now it's more than just hell, it's also a battle for my soul.

Doing the finishing touches I apply makeup to the bruising around my neck. Unfortunately to the fresh wound of the branding I can't conceal it like I would a blemish. I do however put gauze over top of the hideous jagged scar of his name. Then I put medical tape to ensure it will not move.

With it covered I can feel parts of my old self starting to come back. Reminding me how strong I am. With it covered I don't feel so defeated.

Because every time my eyes catch sight of the horrendous scarring, I remember how his hands, repulsive and rough, glided across my skin. How they groped me harshly making me want to rub my skin raw.

I haven't felt that way since I was seventeen.

Since Chris Blackwell.

What Razor did only brings the haunting memories back.

Count to ten, Alice. Count to ten and everything will be okay again.

One, two, three . . .

I take a deep ragged breath in.

Four, five, six . . .

I exhale shakily.

Seven, eight, nine . . .

This time when I take another long breath it's more even.

Ten.

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