Page 34 of A Love Like Venom

It's only until I cross my trailer and down to the next one that is a good space away do I begin to feel more at ease.

I see him before he sees me. He is standing with his hands in his pockets looking up at the black sky that holds so many wishes. Some of them his. Some of them mine.

Without second thought I run straight towards him. Before I go crashing into him his eyes meet mine. Magical eyes that make everything better. Somehow, I run even faster. His arms open wide, and I jump onto him. He catches me easily as I wound my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his waist. My face burrows between the space of his neck and shoulder. The mix of stale alcohol, cigarettes and the musky scent that is all him fills my nostrils.

Just like that it's easier to breathe. I found my peace.

His arms circle around me like a band of steel. He holds me incredibly close, afraid that something terrible might happen if he lets me go.

And this time something just might.

Tears build, pressing on the back of my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

"Alice, what's wrong?" His deep voice asks me with concern.

I wrap myself around him tighter and squeeze my eyes shut. I haven't cried in front of him yet and I'm not going to start now.

His concern grows as I don't answer him. "Alice, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, now." I finally reply, my lips moving against his skin.

He releases a long breath but doesn't loosen his hold on me. "You would tell me if someone hurt you?" He questions rather than tells me. I can hear the slight doubt in his tone, and I understand.

With Reed, I hardly tell him anything. He doesn't know about my home life. I don't tell him about the verbal abuse mymother and sister inflict upon me. I've never told him about the grabby hands of her previous boyfriends.

There's a darkness I carry with me that he knows nothing about.

There's a darkness inside Reed Carter that I knoweverythingabout.

Guilt wants to eat me alive because I'm the one holding secrets when he keeps nothing from me.

But I have my reasons.

I don't want my darkness to affect the light he bestows upon me.

Reed Carter is the one good thing in my life. He lights up all my dark corners and brings me peace. With him I don't have to worry about the dark looming cloud.

Selfishly I don't want to change that.

His hand comes to rest on my neck, and he tilts my head back. As our eyes meet his are studying me. "The last thing I want is for someone to hurt you."

I offer him a small smile. It's almost ironic, really, because every minute he's with Caitlin it hurts my heart. But I don't tell him this. Maybe I should. I should tell him that it's me that has loved him from the beginning.

I'm the one he should be with.

I don't even realize I'm frowning until he calls me out on it. "Why the sad face, Alice? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know." My voice is small.

His magical eyes that are now a dark brown plead with me. "Then talk to me. Tell me what's going on inside that head of yours."

The guilt comes back. He deserves to know the truth. He deserves to know everything. Instead, I find myself asking him what I have been asking myself, "Why her? Why Caitlin?"

Shifting his eyes away from me his body becomes stiff. Feeling the tension, I slowly remove myself from him. Standing on the ground I look up at him under my lashes. When his eyes flick back to mine, they've grown even darker. "Because there's no risk."

"Why isn't there? Shouldn't loving someone be a risk worth taking?"

He swallows but his eyes never lose contact with mine. "Not when the risk could ruin everything."