Page 113 of A Love Like Venom

Does my not wanting to try and fix the relationship between us wrong?

Perhaps it is.

Perhaps it’s not.

But I’ve learned recently that the grey area is not a terrible place to live in.

And being with Reed Carter once again, living in the grey area with him, how could that ever be wrong?

So when Haven asks me, “So, why did you let Snake back in your life again?”

I know exactly what to say, I can feel it in my heart. Feel it right down to my very soul. “Because I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

I can’t.

Life without him, the life I lived for five years without him by my side was excruciatingly dull.

The stars that I used to wish upon suddenly had no meaning. There was no more magic. No more wonder. Every day felt the same.

An endless black sky.

Life without Reed Carter in it was all about survival.

How am I going to make it to the next day? When am I finally going to get out of Hollows Point? Will I have to feel the pain that my mother and sister cause me?

And maybe the most terrifying, when will the day come where Razor finally has me under his grasp with no chance of breaking free?

There is a life without Reed Carter and yes I lived it, I survived it but I also know what it’s like to have a life with him in it.

That’s a life where I am able to live. To be free. To experience peace.

So no, I can’t imagine my life without him. Not when he’s the air that I breathe. Not when he holds my fragile heart in his hands.

“Then you’re in love with him,” Haven bluntly states.

Rosa gasps and slaps her lightly on the shoulder while Stella’s eyes go wide with shock.

Haven rolls her eyes at Rosa scoffing as she does. “And that was for?”

“You can’t just say that.” Rosa admonishes her.

“Why not? She doesn’t seem bothered. Are you?” She brings the conversation back to me.

The truth is I’m not bothered in the least.

I do love him.

I always have.

There is no denying that.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Haven questions but she already knows the answer. From the look on her face and the sound of her voice she already knows that I am in love with him.

In fact they all do.

Even Slater who whistles lowly while clutching his hand over his heart. With a pout he feigns being hurt as he whines, “I really do stand no chance with you.”

At that Haven scoffs. “You stood no chance as soon as he came in here with his hand wrapped in hers.”

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