Page 162 of A Love Like Venom

He has never done that.

Not one person in this club has called me by my birth name.

Then it clicks inside my head like a grenade being released. The sound all I can hear until the grenade explodes obliterating everything inside.

I can't hear anything except the white noise ringing in my ear. Dread, hard and heavy hits the pit of my stomach making me want to vomit. My throat constricts painfully as I try to force in a breath. There's a vice grip on my heart that feels like it is being crushed.

A heavy but reassuring hand lays on my shoulder but I violently jerk it off.

"No.” Is the first word to tumble from my lips. Once the first word tumbles more follow like an avalanche. "No. No fucking way. That isn't possible. It can't be possible. No. Absolutely fucking not." I feel the anger rise in me. It replaces the crushing feeling inside my chest. The anger takes control of all my senses. I need that anger because it's the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

All this time I was worried I would lose Alice to Razor.

Now I might lose her because of JessicafuckingFinley.

No, becauseIhadfuckedJessica Finley.

I finally dare to look at Oak. I can't hide the shame in my eyes. Nor can I hide the anger I feel deep in my bones or the regret. What I can't hide in these hazel eyes of mine is the fear of losing the one person who means everything to me.

"Is she . . .?" I can't even get the word out. It's lodged in the back of my throat. I'm afraid once I say it then it is true.

Oak regards me carefully. "On the way back here I stopped at the drugstore."

"Why did you have to stop at the drugstore?" I ask him not knowing if I'm fully interested in knowing why or just wanting to stall the inevitable.

He scratches the back of his neck and avoids eye contact. Then he mutters, "Melatonin. I heard it helps you sleep."

Even if I might be stalling I am concerned enough to ask, "You haven't been sleeping?"

"No, but that isn't your concern right now."

I fold my arms over my chest and give him a hard look. "I can be concerned if you aren't sleeping, Oak. How long?"

He shakes his head. "This doesn't matter."

Arguing I reply, "It matters. Your mental health always matters."

"I appreciate that I do," he says except I can feel abutcoming. "But,"there it is,"right now that isn't the main concern. Until it becomes a major problem I can handle it. What Jessica told me needs to be handled now."

I run an aggravated hand down my face while cursing every expletive I know.

"I saw her with a pregnancy test." Hearing him say it causes me to wince. "She told me the only person who it could be was you."

Fuck!

I expel a long breath. The need to hit something, punch my fist through the wall is too fucking tempting. If it was just us I would be throwing the table over but it's not. The Old Ladies are here. Slater is here. Gracie Mae and Connor.

Alice . . .

She's just outside those doors waiting for me to return in her arms.

If Jessica is really pregnant because of me will Alice ever allow me to be in her arms again?

I can't find it in myself to blame her if she didn't.

"So I'm asking you, when was the last time you slept with her?" He asks the question again.

"Weeks. It's been over two months. I was safe. I never have sex unless it's protected." With one exception but I don't tell him that. Just a little bit ago I was inside Alice bare.

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