Page 15 of A Love Like Venom

“You really believe that?” I ask her with disbelief and yet a small glimmer of hope.

“Yeah, I do. Just hold on, okay? You’ve endured far too much to give up now.”

She’s right. I know she’s right.

But doubt. The terrible seed planted in the back of my mind. Each day that seed gets nurtured. With enough nurturing that seed will take root. And I have to kill it before it has the chance to cement itself.

Pulling away from her embrace I stand a little taller and square my shoulders. Taking a deep fortifying breath, I exhale with new determination.

Which is exactly what I need because now I have to return home.

I hate that I still have to live there. I hate how I can’t escape the reality of my shitty situation.

My credit score is absolute shit thanks to my mom and sister using my name under credit cards. And finding a well-paying steady job around here is like finding water in the Sahara Desert. I could have become a stripper. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s just not for me. After being groped and harassed from my mom’s string of men I never want a man’s hands or eyes on me ever again. Because the memories would come flooding in, and I can’t afford that.

And the last man who touched me . . .

I was seventeen. Young. Innocent. Inexperienced.

The last man who had touched metookall of that from me.

I just didn’t know after that night everything would change.

Sometimes I regret telling him. For getting him involved. For seeking him out.

But Reed Carter was my savior. He was my peace. My oxygen.

He was my safe place.

And the only arms I wanted around to comfort and protect me were his. Even after what happened it was Reed who I had wanted. Because I knew he would never hurt me.

That night was the catalyst.

I never asked him to do what he did. I didn’t go to him to rectify the situation. To make the problem go away. For it to disappear.

It was his decision. Not mine. Yet I was the one who paid the consequences for it.

I hate Reed Carter for that.

More, I hate him because when I needed him most he left.

Like I was insignificant. Reminding me that I was nothing. That I didn’t mean anything. Not even to him.

Yet still, somewhere deep inside this foolish heart of mine it finds a way to beat for him.

Because Reed Carter at one point was the only person who had given me hope.

It’s silly really. But the boy I once knew dared me to dream, if only a little.

He was the air that filled my lungs.

He made it possible to live through another day of torture.

And when he smiled . . .

God, when he smiled at me it was as if everything else seized to exist.

Then, so did he.

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