“Yes.”
“I assume you’ve made a five-year plan?”
“What?”
“After this internship in Vancouver, what’s next?”
“I… I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought-”
“Well, don’t you think you ought to? I had a word with an associate-”
My blood runs cold. “No Dad.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I really do. You gave me the best education anyone could ever hope for. I never had to struggle for anything. And I’ll probably never be able to pay you back, but… I’m a grown man now, and I have to do this alone. If it means struggling, then so be it. Maybe you could just trust that you and mom and all those fancy schools taught me enough life skills not to starve to death? Plus… my boyfriend’s playing in the NHL, so, I’m not exactly going to be poor.”
“This boyfriend? He wouldn’t be the same one I walked in on you-”
I know he’s not going to finish the sentence, but I interrupt him anyway. “Yeah, that’s him.”
“Ah. I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved he wasn’t just some random boy.”
I could tell him that I’ve done that to plenty of randommen,but I have the sneaky feeling this conversation is supposed to be an olive branch, and as much as it might kill me to admit it, I want it. But not if it means sacrificing Austin, or hockey.
“I love him,” I say. “And at the risk of sounding melodramatic, he loves me.”
He sighs. “You do know I can’t allow you to end up in the gutter. You’re still a Huntington-”
I lean against the wall, listening while my dad laments on my ignorance.
Austin comes out with a concerned frown and mouths,what’s wrong? Who is it?
My dad.
Okay?
I nod, pulling him closer by the shirt and resting my head on his shoulder.
“Dad, I’ve got to go, Austin’s family are waiting.”
I hang up and Austin tilts my chin so I’m looking at him.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
He keeps his hand on my face, looking right into my eyes. Knowing if he gives me the chance, I’ll back away. Clam up. Except I won’t. Not this time.
“Iwillbe okay,” I say. “And I’m better than I was.”
He nods and drops his hand to come and lean beside me on the wall. Austin’s huge family are still making noise inside the bar and it cocoons me, makes me feel warm and safe.
“I know it must sound pathetic, but I still kind of want his approval. I know it’ll pass but…” I shrug. Fuck, I wish I had that pack of cigarettes I just pretended to smoke whenever things got awkward, or I wanted to piss my sexy captain off.
“It’s not pathetic.” He says. “I understand.” He clears his throat. Shuffles his weight from one foot to the other.
“When I was a kid, I used to wonder why my dad left.”