Page 73 of Unlovable Player

“This is your future. These associates are going to be your associates too. It’ll be good to show your face, get a head start.”

“If you like them so much, why don’t you join Dad’s company?”

“Because I’m going to be a doctor. Maybe if you had a focus like medicine, Daddy would let you pursue that.”

“I do!” I blurt before thinking.

“What? And don’t say hockey.”

“Why not? People play professional hockey, and if Dad would have given me a chance-”

“Yeah yeah, you’d be playing in the NHL, do you know how many people think that? Seb, I say this because I’m your sister and I love you. You’re not a bad hockey player, but you don’t have the disciplineorthe patience to play at the professional level. Just stop fighting yourself already and get serious about your future-”

While I lick my wounds at that stone-cold mic-drop, there’s a voice in the background, Maddy’s probably ordering a ridiculously complicated Starbucks coffee.

“Listen, I’ve got to go, be good.”

She hangs up and the car behind me honks their horn to let me know I’m sitting at a green light. Maybe I shouldn’t be driving?

When I get back to the apartment, I kick my shoes off and collapse onto the couch. The Vancouver internship swimming around in my head. I pick up my phone to check my email and there’s a text from Austin;

Is everything ok? Did I do something to piss you off?

Fuck.

There’s nothing I’d love more than to call him and ask him to come over. Make him see he hasn’t pissed me off. Far from it. But I’m not going to Vancouver. And there’s nothing here for me but Austin. He’s better off without me. Before I came here, he was popular with his teammates and ready for the NHL. If I stay, I put all of that in jeopardy. Maybe not him going to the NHL, but I make that harder for him, because he has to go in, not only as a rookie, but a rookie with a boyfriend. Most professional sports might be trying to show how ‘inclusive’ they are these days, but it still makes you different. Puts a target on your back. Extra scrutiny as a ‘role model.’ He’s not always good with pressure and he doesn’t need any extra because of me.

This party is going to suck. But I have to go, I know I do… maybe if Austin could see the reality of my life, who I really am, maybe then he’d wake up and realize he doesn’t want to be with me?

You didn’t piss me off, idiot. Want to come to a party this Thursday?

When I seeAustin in my Armani suit, I almost lose my nerve and tell him we’re not going to the fucking party. But I can’t avoid this forever. He needs to see the truth.

“I don’t know, do you think it fits okay?”

He tugs on the silk tie and my stomach twists with how badly I want to press him against that door and kiss him until our lips ache.

“It looks good on you.”

He flushes a little and I have to look away.

“You sure your parents don’t mind me coming to this thing?”

They won’t even notice you exist.“I’m sure.”

I drive us to New Haven in the SUV, not even hearing the music Austin’s playing from his phone.

“Ma says hi.”

“Oh… tell her hi back.”

“I did.”

He puts his phone back in his pocket.

Fuck,how nice would it be if he was my boyfriend and his mom cared about me enough to ask about me all the time?

I pull up outside the house, a valet coming to take the keys and park the car for me.

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