Page 62 of Unlovable Player

My heart pounds in my ears as I wait for a reply.

“You know, it’d be easier if you were with Alyssa.”

I frown. That wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for.

“Your family love her, she seems great, and even I can see she’s gorgeous,andshe’s obviously still in love with you.”

I swallow, holding back from saying what’s on my mind.I don’t want her, I want you.Yeah, I might mean it, but this is all new to me, and I don’t wanna fuck him around if I don’t know for certain what I want. That felt bad enough with Alyssa. I don’t wanna put someone through it again.

Seb, as usual, is still talking.

“You broke up because you needed to explore this side of your sexuality. Well, you’ve explored it now. You two are perfect together. I should just step out of the way and-”

“Shut up Seb.”

I pull him in by the jacket and press my lips against his. We don’t have to talk about it right now. I just need him to know I want him. We can figure everything else out later.

People start leavingbefore it gets dark, me and Seb helping Ma clean up the paper plates and empty bottles of beer while my uncle Pete cleans the grill.

“Hey, you wanna go to that club tonight?” I ask Seb.

He looks up with a wicked grin.

“Take a key if you’re going out,” Ma says, ears like Dumbo. “I’ve got a gig at Smokey’s tonight.”

“Oh can we go to that instead?” Seb asks.

“I thought you wanted Miley Cyrus on repeat?”

“I can sing you a Miley Cyrus one if you like Seb.” She winks.

“Then I’m definitely going.”

Alyssa comes out of the kitchen after helping my aunts with the dishes. I can hear uncle Joe clinking with bags of beer bottles for the recycling.

“Alyssa, you busy tonight?” Ma asks.

She looks expectantly at me and I don’t know what my face is doing, but she tells Ma she’s got too much studying to do. “But break a leg.”

“I’ll show you out.” My face is hot and I can’t look at Seb, though I wish I could reassure him about my intentions here. I might be fumbling this, but I’m trying.

I walk her around the side of the house, stopping at the door.

“Want me to walk you home?”

“I’ve got my car.”

“You got a car?”

“Yep, saved my wages from the store.”

“Oh yeah, how’s that going?”

She told me she got a part-time job on the Elizabeth Arden counter at the mall the last time we talked, but a lot’s happened since then.

“Fine, the women are nice who I work with and it’s a little extra cash for the savings you know.”

“Yeah.”

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