Page 48 of Unlovable Player

“I could have worked harder,” I admit. “But when I knew professional hockey wasn’t an option for me, I coasted for a few years, until I got a spot on the Yale team.”

“Why wasn’t it an option? You were a promising junior from what I can see.”

“My dad didn’t want me to play beyond high-school. He only let me play at Yale because I promised to prioritize my studies and take the classes he wanted me to take.”

I had a few scouts interested when I was a junior, a few agents begging to take me on, but my dad wouldn’t entertain any of them. He thought he knew better. That he was above those hungry hockey dads who’d sell a testicle to get their kid an agent. My place here was purely tactical. A good ruse for anyone who might wonder why I’d leave Yale. A better hockey team was the best he could come up with on short notice.

“It’s your life you know.” Coach uncrosses his hands and leans forward. “It’s not my place to question your father’s authority, but you’re an adult now Sebastian, if you want to follow a different path, you can.”

I look down at the flyer, want and hope gnawing at me like termites.

“Maybe just take that with you and have a look at the application process. They’re accepting graduates, so you don’t have to go anywhere until after graduation, and it’s only an eight week internship, so think about it. It might be an option.”

“Thank you Coach, I will.”

I fold the flyer and stuff it into my bag before joining the rest of the guys in the locker room.

I’m buzzing with nervous, excited energy when we hit the ice. Even when Coach hits us with endurance drills, I don’t complain, not even internally. Actually, I welcome working off some of this adrenaline.

By the end of practise, I’m more relaxed, but the knowledge of that flyer in my bag remains in the back of my mind even as we all head out to grab something to eat.

I zone out at the bagel place while the guys all talk on, leaving me out as usual.

When we leave, Austin tugs me back by the elbow and asks if I’m alright.

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing, you’re just quiet. I tried to involve you a couple of times and you were just staring into space.”

“Oh.” I consider not telling him. No point in getting my hopes up about something that can’t happen. But the look on his face tells me he’s worried he’s the source of my uncharacteristically quiet mood.

“Coach wanted to talk to me about an internship opportunity, it’s on my mind, that’s all.”

His eyebrows shoot up and he looks genuinely pleased for me. That’s weird, right? My stomach gets all warm and fluttery and I push it down.

Someone being genuinely happy for meandgetting a job in hockey? Yeah right.

“What kind of internship? Where?”

Gray breaks away from the group and asks if he can get a ride to the library and I’m grateful for the distraction.

He sits in the back seat and I have to watch Austin bounce his knee in sweatpants while he flips through his phone and looks at the playlist I sent him with a discreet smile on his face.Fuck he’s hot.

At least Gray is talking incessantly about hockey and something else I’m tuned out to, so I can be even the slightest bit distracted from thinking about what Austin looks like naked. His face when he comes…

I drop Gray at the library and expect Austin to jump out with him, making some excuse up about having to study, but he stays put.

We’ve eaten, showered at the rink, finished practise, what more could I suggest to stay near him?

“Wanna hang out and play on the PS5 or something?”

He shrugs. “Sure.”

How badly do I want to reach over the gearstick and put my hand on his leg? Pretty badly. At least it’s taking my mind off that internship. Until Austin brings it up.

“I haven’t read the flyer properly yet, but Coach said it’d be good for me because of my major in business and my finance and media stuff.”

“So it’s like, behind the scenes?”

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