Page 45 of Unlovable Player

I take a seat beside him.

“Hey, fuck them. I know it’s easier said than done, but, it doesn’t matter what they think.”

Sebastian puts his face in his hands and for a second, I think he’s going to cry. Fuck, what would I do if he cried? Comfort him I guess. He doesn’t cry, just keeps his hands there, covering his face like he’s ashamed. I want to tell him he has nothing to be ashamed of. It’s that professor who should be ashamed. The people who filmed them and passed it around. Smith, and people like him for laughing at it.

I reach out and stroke the side of his hand. I don’t know why I do it. It’s just instinct I guess.

He drops his hands from his face and looks at me. Big brown Bambi eyes contrasting with dirty blond hair, and that stupid gap in his teeth that makes my stomach burn.

He leans over and kisses me and I melt into it, letting what I want in the moment overtake everything else. I’m always so careful. Overthinking everything. Letting go for even a second is fucking heaven.

But it doesn’t last. I remind myself that he’s upset. And I’m his captain. If I take advantage of him, I’ll be no better than that professor.

I pull away. “You’re upset.”

“I’m always upset.”

Fuck.

“I’m your captain.”

“We both know you don’t have any actual authority over me,” he smiles a little. “If you were my coach, now that would be unethical.”

I drop my eyes.

“If you don’t want to I-”

I shut him up with my lips, feeling his body relax as I massage his tongue with mine. He sighs into my mouth and I lose myself. Pressing my weight against him until we’re flush on the bed. Still wearing my shoes. I haven’t even taken my jacket off yet.

I pull free of the kiss and look down at him, running a hand through his messy hair like I’ve wanted to for ages. For a second I see the guy in the Yale jersey, grinning and winking at me.

“What?”

“I’m just thinking about how much of a dick you were to play against.”

“Lucky I’m on your team now then isn’t it. Are you gonna kiss me again or are you just teasing me?”

I hesitate and he rolls his eyes. “I knew it.”

“What?”

“You’re too much of a fucking boy scout to do anything that might be considered even the slightest bit against the grain.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, you’re so worried about not always doing the right thing you end up doing nothing.”

I sit up, because it’s awkward having this conversation with me lying on top of him.

“You really think that?”

“Yeah. Are you upset now? Because if we’re both upset, does that undo the possible unethicasy of the situation?”

“That’s not a word.”

When I look at him he’s smiling.

“I don’t want to fuck up the team dynamics. I’ve been working for this my whole life, and it’s not just my future riding on it.”

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