Page 28 of Unlovable Player

My mouth gets dry as the deadline looms in my mind. What if they decide not to sign me after all? What if I graduate college with no team? No guaranteed future in the NHL? What then? My ma carries on working in the diner until she retires in her sixties? No fucking way.

“I’m sorry Coach,” I say. “I’ll fix this, I won’t let you down.”

He gives me a curt nod. “Good.”

SEBASTIAN

Austin’s standing outside the rink on his phone as we come out of the locker room. No one’s talking to me, but then, that’s no surprise. They slap hands with their captain when they see him, but only I seem to note the discomfort on his face.

“Coming to get some food?” Gray asks him.

“Nah, I’ve got some studying to do, I’ll catch up later.”

I’m about to walk away, drive back to my apartment and eat something before the game later, when Austin calls me back.

“I need to talk to you.”

The guys give me the side-eye, pleased, like they know I’m about to get chewed out.

“Fine, let’s get this over with,” I say as I keep walking.

Austin has to jog to keep up.

He pulls me back by the arm.

“Jesus, slow down, what’s the rush?”

“I’m starving, that’s the rush.”

I put my hand on the driver’s door to the SUV my dad bought when I left Yale in disgrace. A pretty weird thing to do for someone you were supposed to be punishing. I couldn’t help feeling like he was buying my silence.

“You want to talk?” I ask Austin. He stares at me like he’s weighing up whether or not to hit me.Yeah, get in line.

“Get in.”

He makes up his mind and walks around to the passenger side.

The last song I was playing comes on the stereo and Austin asks me what it is.

“It’s a little playlist I made calledI usually solve my problems by letting them devour me.”

He snorts.

“It’s a quote by Kafka. You know the author-”

“I know who Kafka is.”

I shrug.

Bat For Lashessing the intro toDanielas I back out of the parking lot and Austin looks like he’s dying to say something, but can’t find the words. I turn the music down.

“Come on then, spit it out.”

“Do you want my spot, on the team?”

I nearly choke on a laugh. “What? Fuck no.”

“So why do you ignore every piece of advice I give you?”

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