Page 65 of Unlovable Player

“I told her,” I say, quietly, just in case Ma is on the stairs.

“Told her what?”

“About us.”

Seb’s head snaps up. “Why?”

My stomach drops. “Because… I thought she deserved to know why I wasn’t interested in getting back together.”

He opens his mouth, but shuts it again at the sound of Ma’s footsteps on the stairs.

SEBASTIAN

Austin has the perfect life. A mom who’d do anything for him and loves him to death. A big, warm family invested in his dreams. Someone like Alyssa who wants to be with him.

And then there’s me.

If I’ve fooled Austin that I’m anything more than a spoilt rich kid whose own family don’t even like him very much, then I’m the world’s greatest actor.

I could ruin his life, but it’s not too late for him to get back with Alyssa. He told her he was bi, so what? If she’s right for him, she won’t care about that. I just want this weekend. Just a little longer with whatever this is.

When we get to Smokey’s, the bartender pours us a free beer and Lisa warns us with a smile that she’s keeping an eye on how much we drink. We take a table by the stage and Lisa talks to people she knows. She’s changed into a little black dress, her hair is down and she’s beautiful.

When she gets up on stage, she’s more than beautiful, she’s magnificent.

She opens with a song I don’t know before going into a rendition of my favorite from the playlists Austin’s been making me –Girl Crush.The way Lisa sings it… wow! I’m completely in awe. Can’t take my eyes off her. While she sings, she strums a big acoustic guitar, only making it more impressive.

The lyrics cut through me. I think about Austin hugging Alyssa and how much, in that moment, I wished I was her. The person he had his first experiences with. His first love. Someone who can give him things I can’t. The person all his family already adore and accept.

When Lisa finishes singing her second song, the bar erupts into cheers. There’s a few groups in a corner not paying attention and playing pool, or watching football on the muted TV and I want to march over there and tell them to have some respect, but Lisa doesn’t seem phased. She’s grinning as she leans closer to the mic and looks right at me.

“This one’s for an out-of-towner.”

As soon as she starts singing the first verse toWrecking Ball,a few cheers and good-natured jeers come from behind the bar.

She laughs and stops singing before the chorus. “Seriously, this one’s for someone who only discovered The Mac less than 24-hours ago.”

There’s a reaction from some of the patrons as if she just said I’d never heard of Taylor Swift.

The song she starts singing next isn’t familiar, but it’s beautiful. I settle in and watch her, trying not to glance at Austin.

“I’ve been afraid of changing, ‘cos I’ve built my life around you,

but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m getting older too.”

When I realize she’s looking at Austin…Fuck, imagine someone loving you that much.

We stay for a beer after Lisa’s set and she introduces me to everyone while they all gush over Austin - their big future hockey star.

We’re tired when we drive back to the house. Austin and I brush our teeth and fall into bed. He gives me a lazy kiss before falling asleep, snoring gently on the pillow beside me. I guess I’ve learnt that he snores when he has more than one beer.

The next morning,Lisa is in her red shirt and black skirt, ready for work at the diner. She asks us what our plans for the day are while she hurriedly sips her coffee.

“Seb wanted to go to the boardwalk right?” Austin says. “Hey you want pop tarts?”

“Sure.”

“I guess I won’t see you now, don’t you boys have to drive back to school before it gets too late?”

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