Page 64 of Unlovable Player

“Me too,” she smiles thinly. “You were my first love. And you kind of ruined me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were too good to me, now other guys all seem like dicks.”

I snort, because if I’m the highlight of men in the world, we’re fucked.

“Maybe the guys you’ve met are, just be patient, someone who deserves you’ll come along eventually. Someone way better than me.”

“What about Seb?” she asks.

“What about him?”

“Is he the right one for you?”

I take a deep breath. “I don’t know. He’s a rich kid.”

“So?”

We burst out laughing at the same time.

“What if he never fully gets me?”

“Just because you grew up on different sides of the tracks?”

“Different sides of the tracks? Al, he’s from New Haven.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re such a snob.”

“I’ma snob? I’m the opposite of a snob.”

“Oh really? Because I’ve been watching Seb today, and he seemed in awe of everything about your life, your mom, your house, your crazy aunts and uncles, your little nieces and nephews.”

“Why would he be in awe of me? He grew up with a fucking pool in his backyard.”

Alyssa shakes her head. “Never mind.”

We fall into silence again.

“You don’t hate me do you? I mean, you have every right to if-”

She reaches out and stops my knee mid-bounce. “I could never hate you, okay?”

I nod.

“Friends?”

“Friends.”

She leans over the gearstick and hugs me and I hold her tightly, getting nostalgic off her familiar perfume. But that’s it, I realize– nostalgia.

Everyone else has leftby the time I go back into the house. The place is clean and Ma is upstairs getting changed for her gig.

“She has more energy than any person I’ve ever met,” Seb says.

“I know, it’s annoying.”

I get the feeling he wants to ask what I said to Alyssa, but he won’t.

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