Page 34 of Red River

It took quite some time as my anxious energy slowly adjusted to his vibration, and the space within me expanded—a calm space full of luminosity.

Archer's fingers played with my hair for a moment, then he said, "Never think of yourself that way, River. And don’tpresume that I get nothing out of this situation. But what I want can’t be given in the way you tried today. True submission from you must be earned by me, River. No omega should give himself to the wrong alpha. But creating the reality I envisioned takes time. If I truly want you whole, I must be patient too, even though part of me would love to take advantage of this partial submission, River."

"You can, if you want," I muttered.

"No. Because you’d never trust me if I did. If I can’t control myself in this, if I can’t read your true needs, I won’t be able to control myself in other aspects or understand you in other situations. Sexual discipline translates more into life than people realize."

For quite some time, I sat there, still trying to process his words. They made sense—a lot of sense. And I was pleasantly surprised by how mature they sounded, though a naughty part of me felt strangely disappointed.

At the beginning, I thought what I came here for was downright crazy—maybe too crazy—and I had to gear my whole body toward this wild mindset.

It was like I had turned a crank inside myself, and now it was bothering me.

The momentum it had given me felt almost physically tangible, my body still wound up.

Despite my efforts to snap myself out of this reckless mindset, it was in vain. I wanted to do something perverse, something completely out of character—maybe even provoke him.

"Do you wanna see my hole?"

Silence. Deep, deep, heavy silence.

Yeah, I really just said that. Crazy enough?

He probably couldn’t believe it either. That’s why he wasn’t saying anything.

So I kept going, still riding that wild, unhinged mood. "Thomas always said I had such a pretty little hole. Even after the births."

His heartbeat picked up. I had no idea what he’d say or do.

I was showing him something secret—this hidden, slutty part of me I had buried deep throughout my marriage with Thomas. I had spent years being the good, modest husband, but in the corners of my soul, there was something more.

To put it simply, I liked sex. I liked being fucked. And I resented Thomas for stopping.

After he got sick, he just… didn’t touch me anymore. I was hungry, frustrated—especially during that one heat I had without the heat suppressants. It had almost killed me, being left alone like that. I was so desperate that I medicated myself afterward, so my heats would stop, just to never feel that horrible, abandoned way again.

That neglected part of me still craved, still ached, frustrated, demanding to be satisfied, dreaming that he would just take me right here, right now…

"River, you’re making this hard."

"What did I make hard?"

Did I sound shamelessly hopeful?

His voice dropped, rough and strained. "You’re making it hard to deny you."

I swallowed. "I told you, I’m ready, Archer. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. I want to… give myself to you."

"Only if you answer one question, River."

I swallowed. "W—what?"

"Do you love me?"

I froze.

A damn good question.

With Thomas, I’d fallen in love long before things got physical. Love and sex had always been inseparable for me, unlike some omegas who saw it as just fun.

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