Page 58 of Unbreak Me

Returning to the table, I asked, "Does the offer of this bracelet as a gift still stand?"

"Of course, Day. I bought it for you."

I opened the box and took out the bracelet. It was delicate, with gray agates that shimmered softly. Slowly, I put it on my wrist. I had to admit—Jan had chosen well. It suited my appearance and, maybe even, my personality.

For a moment, we both just looked at it.

"Thank you, Jan. It’s really nice. I don’t usually wear jewelry every day, but there’ll still be perfect occasions for it."

Jan’s face lit up, but soon his expression changed to something more serious. I immediately knew what he was thinking. Strange—it was like I could feel it in my system.

Carefully, I took off my pendant and set it down on the table in front of me.

"Speaking of jewelry, I’ve probably given you mixed signals by saying I don’t wear any, but at the same time constantly walking around with this, right? Go ahead. Check it out for yourself."

Jan hesitated, but I encouraged him.

"Go on. You should see what it is."

He nodded slowly, then mindfully opened the locket.

A hologram activated, and eight tiny newborn faces appeared in a circle, hovering in the air above the pendant.

Jan exhaled sharply. "Children… the ones you gave birth to?"

"Yes. All the children I carried. The ones that were taken away from me."

Our eyes met, and Jan reached out again to take my hand.

"Day… Have you ever talked to anyone about this? A therapist? These were little lives you nurtured. Even if they weren’t biologically yours, it was your blood and breath that sustained them."

My lips trembled. "I didn’t. It felt… silly. How could I care? They weren’t mine. But—" I couldn’t finish; my throat suddenly constricted.

Jan knelt beside me, wrapping his arms around me.

He whispered softly, "Those feelings are still valid, Day. You buried them, thinking they were silly, but they’re real. And they have the power to hurt."

And just like that, with those words, he opened up asafe spacefor me to freely express what I was feeling.

I could finally say it out loud!

"They took them all away…" I choked on the words as tears unexpectedly started to stream down my cheeks. I felt like I've been crying a lot lately, but I chosenotto feel ashamed of it.

"Sometimes, I’d sneak into the newborn ward and just look at them. I took pictures, touched their tiny hands. They… they seemed to respond, opening their eyes as if they recognized me, opening their little mouths, searching for my milk."

Jan gently cupped my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs. "I’m sure they did. They felt your presence and knew you hadn’t abandoned them."

I continued in a shaky voice, "I expressed milk for these babies for three months, for each of them. Every time I did, I thought about them drinking it, receiving what I produced… but they didn’t know who made it for them."

"But you gave these babies a gift; their bodies knew. They grew and thrived on your milk."

His fingers touched my face so gently it was soothing. I closed my eyes, letting him caress me softly, calming me down.

Though I had already told Jan about wanting kids, but I never told him howpowerfulthe feeling was.

It was my deepest wish. My dream.

So, I needed to emphasize it; I needed him to hear me.

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