Page 58 of Heat Me

"Damien, it really sucks leaving you alone like this. Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?"

"Yeah. I’ll probably sleep through most of it anyway."

He looked away again, stubbornly avoiding my gaze. Something was wrong.

Since I was still sitting next to him, he sighed impatiently.

"You really should go already. I want to get back to sleep," he murmured, turning onto his side. I felt even more stupid.

I didn’t want to push him or force a conversation right now. Especially since he was right—I had no idea what the roadwork situation was like on the way to Star’s town. I had to get going.

So, I got up and reluctantly went to the bathroom, washed up and changed into my street clothes.

When I peeked into the bedroom, he was lying on his side with his eyes closed. But I knew he wasn’t asleep.

"Damien—" I started, but he interrupted me again.

"Just go already, okay? There’s no need to drag this out."

That didn’t sound right. I clenched my lips. I wanted so badly to say more—to explain, to promise—but my mind was swirling. I couldn’t figure out what to say.

"Take care. I’ll be back this evening…"

And then he said it, "You don’t have to. The heat’s over. Your job’s done. Thanks for everything—we’re done here. Tomorrow, I have to get back to class. My life will go back to normal."

Wow…

I felt like I’d been hit over the head. So that’s how he saw it? This was just over? Was I right before, not bringing up a relationship between us because he wasn’t interested after all?

Or… was that heat recovery talking through him?

Damien pulled the covers tighter around himself, clearly signaling that he didn’t want me there or to discuss it further. I felt like an intruder.

But I knew I couldn’t just leave without saying anything—just walk off in silence. I hated the childish miscommunications I’d often had with Tom, so I said firmly, "Damien, I told you I keep my promises. I will be back so we can talk."

He stayed silent, so I could only hope my words were enough reassurance for him.

In a daze, I grabbed my things and left his apartment, feeling bad. My stomach tightened as if I had just drunk vodka—it was nauseous and heavy.

If it weren’t for this damn trip, I would’ve stayed and tried to talk to him—but time was running out.

Gritting my teeth, I made my way to the car, started the engine, and joined the traffic.

As I drove, a bitter throbbing pounded in my head, and a crushing pain weighed down my chest.

Was he afraid of my rejection and preferred to reject me first? I knew that tactic from my past—I’d used it myself many, many times.

Sure, I knew before that he didn't want someone who worked for a company like Dark Dreams, but that wasn't an issue anymore. Had I already tainted myself forever in his eyes? He'd made it clear before—a person with such a controversial job wasn't boyfriend material.

Boyfriend… that word.

That’s exactly what I wanted to be for him. And even more.

We didn’t know each other well yet, but what drew me to him was so powerful it didn’t matter—I believed with all my heart that we could make it work.

***

The drive to Star’s town felt like a hazy nightmare. I barely remembered anything except the road signs and numbers. I turned on the GPS and let it guide me, stopping only once for coffee, hoping it would clear my head. It didn’t.

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