We manage to make it through to the end of the movie, only having to pause it a few more times when Marcus and Noah banter back and forth. Watching the two of them go at it was refreshing. Every jab they made only made me happier to see them on good terms again.
“He’s passed out,” Noah whispers, breaking me from my trance. I look over to see Marcus spread out on the couch, mouth open, with a light drunken snore escaping from his throat.
“Put another movie on, I’m not ready to go home yet," Noah murmurs to me. He lays his head on my lap, tucking the blanket under his chin. The unexpected intimacy makes my chest quiver. This is not good for my healing heart.
I take a moment to steady my breathing, feeling the weight of his head on my lap as I scan through the options on the screen. After a quick peruse, I opt for a safe choice—The Office.
As the opening theme song plays, I feel Noah shift, his eyes fluttering shut. A ripple of comfort settles over me as I feel him let down his guard a little more. Tonight has turned into something unexpected and I can't stop the smile spreading over my face.
The sun filters in through the curtains, gently waking me from my sleep. My fingers are buried in Noah’s soft hair, his head still resting on my lap. With each soft rise and fall of his chest, my heart flutters with hope that he’s finally coming around to the idea of being together. I take a moment to admire his profile. His perfect nose complements his strong, square jaw,and those kissable plush lips that haunt my dreams. Before I can finish that thought, Noah stirs.
“Good morning,” I whisper.
His eyes snap open in surprise, and he bolts upright. The blanket falls away from his chest, revealing the smooth beautiful skin that glows in the sunlight. “Oh wow. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” His voice is extra deep from the sleep. “Sorry about that. I need to go.” He stands up, swaying slightly as he walks to the door—dizzy from sleep and perhaps the shots of whiskey last night.
Before I can get a word in, Noah is out the door, his shirt forgotten. The way he couldn’t get away from me quick enough puts a knot in my stomach. I sit on the couch, frozen, staring at the door he just walked out of. I'm feeling confused and hurt. He was flirting with me and touching me last night. Now it feels like he's back to avoiding me. Maybe it was just the alcohol that made him put his guard down.
Chapter 19
Noah
Over the next month, the tension between Emma and I only gets worse. I can’t shake the reality that her due date is only a month away. In fact, it'sallI can think about, it consumes my thoughts every hour of every day. I can’t help but feel I’m about to lose her for good. She might not be mine to lose, but once the baby arrives, it will be final.
The excitement radiating off of her is palpable in a gut wrenching way. She glows every time someone asks her how many weeks she has left or if she has a name picked out yet, and every time, it's like a knife to my chest. The baby’s impending arrival looms over me like a dark shadow, an ominous countdown to the end of "us". The closer she gets to motherhood, the more I feel like I’m drowning.
From my desk, I watch her through the glass, helplessly captivated. She’s talking on the phone, her hand resting on her growing belly. A deep, aching sigh escapes my lips. I wish things were different.
After another grueling day at work, I head over to my brother’s place, craving a strong drink and something—anything—to distract me from this storm inside my head. I check hislocation first, ensuring he's home before making the drive over. It's a habit of ours, my brother and I show up at each other's houses unannounced, regardless of the day or time.
As I walk in, I'm taken aback to see Emma over again. Maybe deep down I was hoping she would be. But it makes me wonder how much time they spend together. The sight of her sends a mixture of emotions swirling through me.
Emma turns toward me, her smile brightening as if she’s happy to see me. I wish she wasn't. “Noah! We were just about to watch another movie. Sit down! I’ve got popcorn.” She stretches the bowl out to me, her eyes sparkling. I hesitate, knowing I shouldn’t be doing this, every moment with her tightens the knot in my chest. This is only going to make it harder for me in about a month. Still, I pour a glass of whiskey for myself and one for Marcus before joining them.
I settle in my spot on the couch between the two of them, handing Marcus his glass before taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Emma’s lap. The warmth from her body beside me feels like a temporary balm to my pain.
“Emma, what did the doctor tell you about your salt intake?" Marcus teases, reaching across from me. "Fork over the popcorn bowl.”
“What did the doctor say?” I ask, my heart filled with unexpected concern.
“Oh, nothing important," Emma answers with a shrug. "Just that I need to watch my salt intake. My feet have beenswelling up atinybit, and my blood pressure was a little high the other day.”
Glancing down at the mention of her feet, my eyes go wide. “Jesus, Emma! Give me that bowl.” I snatch the popcorn from her and pass it over to Noah. Her slender legs make her ankles look more swollen than they are. It has to be uncomfortable.
“They aren’t that bad!” She shouts defensively, but the swell of her ankles peeking from the bottom of her leggings says otherwise.
“Oh, they are. Put your feet up here,” I say as I pat my lap. For once, she does as she's told, and places her dainty feet in my lap. Her toe nails are painted a hot pink and it makes me twitch. I start massaging her feet gently, careful not to apply too much pressure near her ankles.
“Okay, play the movie,” I say casually. But Emma just stares at me, her mouth agape.
“What?” I respond, confused by her reaction.
“You do not have to rub my gross feet. I’m fine!” She insists, attempting to remove herself from my hands.
“Your feet are not gross," I roll my eyes playfully at her, tightening my grip on her. "And I really don’t mind. Now let’s just watch the movie."
As I massage her feet, I'm entranced by the soothing rhythm, barely paying attention to the movie. My thoughts are consumed by Emma and how soft and smooth her skin feels beneath my fingers. I find myself trying to control my reaction, as her left foot rests gently over my crotch. Although I’m tempted to move my hands further up her legs, I hold myself back. Now is not the best time to get a hard-on with my brother sitting just four feet away.
Adding slight pressure to her toes, Emma suddenly jumps upright. “Ouch!”