Page 35 of Love Unexpected

"Thank you so much for everything you've done for us," I tell her as I'm walking out of the third floor for what I hope to be the last time.

Chapter 32

Noah

Before leaving the hospital completely, I go back to Emma's room on the second floor. Hoping once again, she’ll be awake when I walk in. But of course, life isn’t that fair.

"Hey, Em," I say softly, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I brought someone to see you." Carefully I unbuckle the baby from the carrier and cradle her in my arms. I lay the baby gently on Emma's chest and adjust the blanket over both of them.

"I swear she is getting more beautiful by the day. I wish you could see her right now," I say, blinking away tears. "She's so perfect, just like you. She needs you, Em."

I linger next to her bed, still holding the baby to her chest, hoping for a sign that she can hear us. After several moments, I come to terms with the reality that she's not going to wake up right now.

"I promise I will take great care of her, Emma." I scoop the baby back up and fasten her into the carseat again. "I'll see you tomorrow, baby." Reluctantly, I take one last look at her laying on the bed and walk out. My chest hurts at the thought of leaving the hospital with her baby and not her.

I pull up to Emma's house as the sun sets, casting a warm glow over the quiet neighborhood. My heart is heavy with worry for Emma and sadness that she's missing another monumental moment—bringing the baby home from the hospital.

I grab the infant carrier and bag from the backseat and walk to the front door. Marcus is waiting for me on the porch, surrounded by bags of baby items I asked him to get.

"How is she doing?" He asks, nervously running a hand through his hair.

"Her condition hasn't changed," I reply with a sigh. "She's still not awake." Admitting those words out loud intensifies the ache in my chest.

"Let me know when I can visit her. I know it's hard for you to be away, especially with the baby to care for," he says as he follows me inside the house.

I set the carrier on the kitchen table and remove her from the seat. I watch her sleep peacefully, cradled in the safety of my arms.

"Thanks, Marcus," I say, grateful for his offer. "I feel horrible leaving her alone at the hospital, but I'm a little overwhelmed trying to juggle my time between the two of them."

The thought of Emma lying in the hospital bed all alone tonight crushes me. But it would be too difficult to care for the baby in the ICU throughout the night.

Marcus's gaze drifts to the baby in my arms. "You're not alone in this, brother," he says earnestly. "I'm here for you. Anything and everything you need, just tell me, and I will get it done." He lays his hand reassuringly on my shoulder.

"Do you mind staying for a little bit and watching her while I shower?" I ask, the exhaustion from the past few days is finally catching up to me.

"I've been wanting to say something about that, but—“ he snickers, reaching out to take the baby from my arms.

"Yeah yeah yeah," I say, heading toward the bathroom.

I step in Emma's shower, letting the steaming hot water wash away my stress and fears. I close my eyes and for just a few minutes, I try not to think about the little life in the next room that is completely dependent on me now and the other life miles away in the hospital that is dependent on a breathing machine. I finish my shower, reminding myself I need to be strong for both of them.

Chapter 33

Noah

Seven the next morning finally rolls around and I’m ready to go visit Emma in the hospital. Last night was the longest night of my life. The baby woke up nearly every hour. Her cries echoed through the empty house, a constant reminder that I have no idea what I’m doing and that I’m alone in this. She’s either a very fussy baby, or she can sense my fear.

I’ve never been so sleep deprived, almost to the point where I feel delirious. Walking towards the bedroom, I catch my reflection in the mirror. My hair is a mess and I have dark shadows under my eyes. Pushing through the fatigue, I quickly get dressed, throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. I pack the diaper bag, and buckle the baby in her seat.

I’m desperate to get out of the house, the walls feel as if they are going to close in on me. Emma’s things are a constant reminder that she’s missing. I just need to be with her, holding her hand. “Let’s go see your mom,” I say to the little one.

———

Another day filled with disappointment passes. Nurses and doctors are in and out of her room with no newsto give me, only pitiful looks and fake enthusiasm. Every hour that passes has me re-thinking the choices I made. What was I thinking? What if Emma doesn’t wake up for several months or—and I hate to even put this thought out there—ever? Am I just going to raise this child? I’ll probably end up in prison someday for kidnapping.

The baby sleeps on Emma’s chest in between feedings, her gentle breaths are a small comfort in this grim reality. I scroll on my phone, reading the latest news stories and celebrity gossip to Emma. While telling her about the baby’s first night at home, the pain becomes too unbearable to continue. I close my eyes for a moment, envisioning the family we could be together if she would just wake up.

Later that night, Marcus meets me at the house again. He holds the baby and watches tv on the couch while I savor a long shower, eager to wash away my exhaustion from the day. I take Marcus up on his offer when he insists on staying in order to help me with the night shift. I have no business turning him down, knowing I’m utterly exhausted and teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown right now.

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