Page 69 of Coming Up Roses

Unlike the last time we shared a bed, this time there was touching. Nothing sexual, just some cuddling. It feels like her body was made for me to hold like this.

But I still don’t know what any of this means. Surely friends with benefits don’t snuggle?

“Flynn?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?” Abi props herself up on an elbow so she can study my face.

“Yeah, of course. Obviously. Why wouldn’t I be? Everything’s great.”

“Because you didn’t answer when I asked how you slept and now you’re rambling.”

I groan and she grins.

“Remember what I said last night?”

“You’re good with instructions?”

She blushes but rolls her eyes. “Not that part.”

I think, but nothing else comes to mind. She called me sweetheart a few times, which did things to me I’d rather not acknowledge, but I’m not sure that’s what she’s getting at.

She scoffs and flops back onto her pillow. “Being honest with each other, Flynn. That’s the most important part of this. Fucking typical man.” She’s trying to sound annoyed, but I can hear the laughter in her voice. “Now, are you okay?”

“I am,” I say. “I’m just … confused about where this leaves us now. Maybe we should have had this conversation before we took your clothes off.”

She makes the same scoffing noise again. “Like you’d have taken anything in with your dick that hard.”

It’s the last thing I’m expecting her to say and a laugh bursts out of me. “You’re not who I was expecting you to be,” I say.

“Yeah, well, same goes for you. I’m desperate to know what you were expecting … but I think we need to backtrack a little bit.”

“Lay it on me,” I say, rolling up onto my elbow so I can look down at her, spread across the pillows, still a little soft with sleep.

“What are you confused about?”

I rub the back of my neck, then trail my fingers through Abi’s hair. “What happens next, I guess.”

“What about it?”

“Do we really have to talk about it?” I pull a face and she giggles.

“Yeah, we do, sweetheart,” she cups my face, brushing a thumb over my cheekbone. “Especially if we don’t want to ruin our friendship, which I don’t know about you, but I really, really don’t want that.”

“Definitely don’t want that.”

“Then we just need to set some expectations.”

Okay, expectations. I can understand that. Hopefully it’ll let me know when I’m allowed to touch her because ‘all the time’ doesn’t sound like it’s appropriate for our situation, even though it’s exactly what I want.

Abi continues. “At work and in public we keep it quiet. When we’re alone we take it as it comes? We can still hang out as friends, sometimes we can add sex. Staying over isn’tgoing to be as easy as this again, not without raising questions.”

It’s a shame really, because waking up with Abi is incredible. But if I started staying in town at night there would be questions. If she stayed on the farm, there’d be questions. Too many damn questions.

It’s probably for the best though. Hopefully distance will help me keep some perspective.

I take a deep breath and ask, even though I’m sure I sound like some naive little kid. “When am I allowed to touch you?”

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