Page 102 of Coming Up Roses

I glance beside me, startled to realise she’s slipped out of the room without me even noticing. Apparently I was too caught up in my feels over being all alone to notice her leaving the room.

Dallas moves to stand but I hold up a hand.

“I’ll go find her,” I say. I don’t know what possesses me because it’s the exact opposite of giving her space. I just know if she’s anxious right now, Dallas might not be the person to go after her.

I head down the hallway into the kitchen. She’s not there. I scan the open-plan area, taking in the couch, the dining table, the empty back deck.

Maybe she just went to the bathroom. I honestly can’t remember if the door was open or closed as I came down the hall.

Then a flash of movement, in the room right at the end of the house catches my eye.

Sadie’s room. The one I just came out of.

When I step inside, Abi is sitting on the far corner of Sadie’s bed, leaning against the wall, clutching the pillow to her chest.

She startles when she sees me, then relaxes again, turning her face into the pillow.

“Hey,” I say.

“Hey,” she replies, the word muffled by the pillow.

“Can I?” I gesture to the bed beside her and she peers at me over the top of the pillow before giving a short nod.

I slide onto the bed next to her, my back against the wall and legs stretched out in front of me.

“Are you okay?” I whisper.

She leans into me, but doesn’t answer. I wrap an arm aroundher pulling her closer, inhaling her delicate scent. It makes my heart twinge. This is a special form of torture.

A moment later, Abi’s body shudders and sobs burst from her. She presses her face into the pillow and I know if I were to pull it away, it would be soaked with her tears.

“Rosie, hey, no.” I pull her closer, scooping her up and depositing her on my lap, wrapping both arms tight around her shaking body.

She shoves the pillow away and instead presses her face—wet with tears as I expected—into my shirt. Her fingers latch onto my shoulder, anchoring her and I revel in the feeling of being able to be this person for her.

I hold her close, knowing it’s likely the last time I’ll ever have the chance. After this, I have to let her go.

Properly.

For good.

Long moments pass as Abi cries into my shirt and I whisper reassurances to her. As her sobs fade I slip my hand under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet mine.

“Talk to me, Rosie,” I whisper.

She shakes her head and tries to slip out of my grasp.

“Please. I need to know how I can help.”

“You can’t,” she says, voice thick with tears. “I can’t do this. I don’t know why I thought I could. I’m not supposed to be Sadie’s mum. She doesn’t need me. She has her family now.” She waves towards the wall with Dallas, Katie and Sadie on the other side.

“She does need you, and you are her mum.”

“No, I’m not. I brought her into the world sure, but I haven’tbeen there for her. I haven’t raised her. I tried and the first chance I get, I fail.” She lets out a heavy breath. “I’m going to leave them to it and stop trying to force something that’s not meant to be.” Her voice breaks again and more sobs tear free. She tries to shove off my lap, but I hold her tight, trying to process everything she’s saying.

“You’re going to leave town?” I ask, dumbstruck. She can’t leave. She just can’t. She belongs here now.

“There’s nothing for me here.” This time when she pushes away from me I don’t have the strength to hold her in place. She curls back into the corner, pulling the pillow between us like a shield. “You made it pretty clear where you stand the other day, and I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”

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