Page 94 of Coming Up Roses

Not just the physical part of our relationship, but just him in general. His humour and bad jokes, his sense of fun and adventure, the way he looks after me but never hesitates to push me outside of my comfort zone.

I miss all of that. I miss him, and while that should be sounding alarm bells, because this is how friends with benefits arrangements always go bad, I ignore them.

Flynn chews slowly and eventually swallows. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Abi.”

Not Rosie. Abi. At least it wasn’t Abigail, I suppose.

I open my mouth to ask why, but he answers before I even have to ask.

“We’re fuck buddies. Friends who hook up. I’m not the guy you bring around when you’re with your daughter.” He sounds so bitter, not like the Flynn I’ve come to know and lo—oh shit. Love.

I might be ignoring the alarm bells, but can I ignore I’ve fallen in love with him? Right as he’s apparently decided to not just push me away, but shove me.

“I think this mutually beneficial arrangement should probably end now,” he says, gesturing between us. “I’ve got to get back to work, but I’m really happy things worked out for you and Sadie. You deserve it.”

He spins on his heel and strides away. A moment later I hear his motorbike engine kick to life and he tears off down the farm, driving way, way faster than normal.

I’m left standing in the driveway, right in front of the mainhouse, my heart feeling like it’s been trampled, and tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

I climb back into my car and head around to the function venue. As I pass under the Wildflower Ridge sign on the main gate, the tears spill over, my control on them finally slipping.

I let myself cry until I turn into the road that leads up to the function centre, then I take several deep breaths and push aside all those emotions.

I’m strong enough to get through this. I’ve made it through everything else life has thrown at me.

I’ll give Flynn some space, then hopefully we can rebuild our friendship.

And these feelings I have will fade over time.

They have to.

46

ABI

Sadieand I are having the best day.

I picked her up from Dallas’s first thing this morning so he and Katie could make the most of their weekend.

Sadie and I headed to Sugar where Tilly treated Sadie to a free cupcake and I grabbed coffees for myself and Quinn.

We met at the school so the girls could play on the playground, while Quinn and I sat in the sun and I gave her the full rundown on the situation at Wildflower Ridge. I told her all about how I co-parent with Dallas, Katie, Violet and Olivia. I briefly mention Flynn, but when my heart pangs I quickly move onto the next topic, pushing thoughts of him to the back of my mind, like I have been every time he crosses my thoughts since he told me he wants to end our arrangement. I need to focus on Sadie, like I should have been this whole time.

When Quinn needs to go to pick up her son from his football game, Sadie and I head home, ready for an afternoon ofgirly pampering and treats, before snuggling together to watch a movie.

It’s going to be perfect. Everything about it.

Until I ask Sadie what she wants for lunch.

“Nothing,” she mumbles from her position sprawled across my couch.

“Aren’t you hungry?” I ask, sitting down beside her, instantly worried I’ve filled her up on junk food and treats instead of proper food.

“Sore tummy,” she says with a little moan.

I study what I can see of her face. The rest is smooshed into one of the cushions that live on my couch. She looks a little pale and maybe a little flushed at the same time.

Is that a thing that can happen?

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