Page 94 of Guarded

This was another one of her trick questions I got beat for. If I say Christmas, she’ll say I’m an idiot for not remembering my birthday, but if I say my birthday, she’ll say I’m disrespecting Jesus. I shrug cause there was no route to winning.

The manic in her eyes was a constant now. Before, the bad thing would come and go, but now the bad thing is all that’s left. She left her soul in Texas.

“You think ‘cause you’re turning fifteen, you’re a man now?” She stands up but loses her balance and tries again.

Her days consisted of drinking wine, snorting white powder she lined up on the TV tray in front of her, and finding ways to punish me for who she had become.

“You think you’re a fucking man now!” she repeats, lunging forward and striking me across the cheek.

Charlie starts barking, and she palms her head in distress.

“Shut the fuck up!” she yells at the dog.

Catching her balance, she lunges for me again until her face is parallel to mine.

“Stand in the corner till I say you can move,” she shouts.

All the beauty Evangeline had has faded to nothing. Soulless eyes stare at me, and I don’t argue. I take my place in the familiar corner, where I reacquaint myself with the images I created from the green floral wallpaper.

Charlie continues to bark. He barks and barks until Evangeline has had enough. The creaking of her chair sounds behind me. My eyes shut when I hear the loud yelping.

“Nero, come get this fucking dog!”

He’s whimpering on the ground, and I move to pick him up. Cradling his small body in my arms.

“You think you’re a man now, Nero?” she says, walking toward me. She pulls out a pistol from one of the cabinets where she hides it.

“Kill his old ass.” She nods her head to Charlie while offering me the firearm.

I shake my head and pull him tighter into me.

“I SAID KILL THE FUCKING DOG NERO!” she screams. “Kill the fucking dog, or I’ll kill you.”

She taps the muzzle of the pistol to my temple, and my heart beats loudly in my chest.

It’s just another game. Don’t let her see you’re scared.

I grab the gun from her outstretched hand. Useless tears fall from my eyes as I hug Charlie tighter into me. The gun hangs at my side from my trembling hand.

“Well? Andale!” she demands.

My heart accelerates in my chest.

Thump

Thump

Thump.

No. I can’t. Charlie is my only friend.

“Just kill me!” I cry.

Death was too good to be true. Begging her to take my life was another form of punishment. Just like Tala, death was never coming to save me.

Evangeline would get me close enough just to bring me back. That in itself was the torture, knowing I couldn’t even escape her through death. She’d never allow that kind of peace for me.

“You’re pathetic. That’s why you’ll never amount to shit. Get in the Kennel.” She snatches Charlie from my arms and pushes me into the backroom.

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