Page 50 of Guarded

“Okay, question number one, I like it when my partner takes control in the bedroom. Yes, no, or maybe?”

“Yes,” I reply.

“I like to receive pain during sex. For example, spankings, marks, bruises, makeup running by tears? Damn, this shit crazy.”

“Um. I don’t know.” I bite down on my corner lip. Was I completely deranged if I said yes?

“Mmmm. I’ll say maybe for that one,” Cooper replies.

She continues with the questionnaire, asking questions I don’t even know how to answer. I don’t even know what an ownership contract is.

God. Did Nero need some kind of contract in place? Is that why he couldn’t fuck me? This was getting weird. Yet there were some things Cooper would ask me that oddly aroused me. Like “Do you like it when your partner praises you?”

I said yes, but it was more like a hell yes.

I liked how Nero encouraged me last night and made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Okay. So, according to this test, you are 95% submissive. You are also an exhibitionist, brat, masochist, and -rope bunny?” Cooper says, questioning the last one. Her guess is as good as mine.

“So, what the hell does that mean?” I ask.

“It means you’re a freak girl. You want some kinky shit, so before you get up to that altar, you better have experienced something here. Once you’re tied down, it’s one dick for life, homegirl.”

One dick for life? I don’t know about that. Part of me was afraid that if I went all the way with Nero, if I submitted to him, I would lose myself to him.

Then I would break my own fucking heart when it came time to get married. It was a dangerous line I know better than to straddle. Even if every dark desire in me wants to belong to him in some way.

“It’s that man, huh? The man who stays following you around?” Cooper says.

Her eyes narrow on me while she pours an electrolyte package into her cup and mixes it. My eyes shoot up at her, ready to deny it, but she already knows.

“I knew it!” she screams. “I knew there was something weird going on between you, too.”

I look from the living room back to her.

“Shhhh!” I say, bringing my finger to my lips, the universal sign forcállate la pinche boca.

Cooper smirks, then turns to open the fridge.

“I fucking knew it! I saw the way he was looking at you. Damn girl, you really do be doing the most with all these meal preps.” She says, and I let out a laugh.

She pulls out one of the plastic bags and waves it in my face.

“Why do you have so many fucking tuna sandwiches?” she asks, opening up the plastic bag and taking a bite.

“I make them for Nero.”

“Mmmm. This is good! You better check your man, though. Make sure he’s not giving your food out to thehoemless of Houston. These men are scandalous out here. One time I bought a man McDonald’s, and it turns out he took it to another bitch!” Cooper says.

“He’s not my man, and put that back,” I reply defensively.

I mean, he wasn’t right? He probably had a ton of submissives or whatever he wanted to call them. I couldn’t let myself fall into the delulu zone, thinking that last night meant more than it did. Cooper takes another big bite before she frowns at my fallen expression.

“Girl, you better not be sad about no dick. They come a dime a dozen. Besides, like you said, who cares? You’re getting married soon anyway.”

Right. I was getting married soon. I needed to remind myself of that fact. Even if there was something between Nero and me, it would never be long-term. I had a duty to my family to uphold the agreement I made about an arranged marriage. I would latch on to the hope that the honor I bring to my family will somehow be as satisfying as Nero’s touch.

The restof the day passes quickly. Cooper and I watch a movie with the kids and finish a Pedro Pascual puzzle. Olivia picks Luca up, but Lucia refuses to go home. I can’t tell the little diva to go home either because I don’t want to be alone in the penthouse.

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